The End of the Line

I'm Jenny
I'm Sarah
She's Sarah
She's Jen
Been best friends forever
Well, since we were ten
Met at ballet class, and ever since then
We became inseparable
The damage was irreparable

Jen's like, my sister
And Sarah's like mine
Friends 'til the end of the line

Had nothing much in common
Loved horses
Loved shoes
But we were attached at the hip
Jen was like a goddess, my mentor and muse
She was a nerd and a drip
But we would be together every hour of the day
People would see us and say:

It's Jenny and Sarah
Two peas in a pod
Well, if one pea was perfect
And one pea was odd
First strain
Head spare!
On the volleyball squad
Happy and gregarious
My thrills were just vicarious
(Whoo!)

She'd point the spotlight
She'd bask in the shine
Friends 'til the end of the line

My skin was just like porcelain, her's was all zits
My pores were perpetually blocked
I developed early, she had no tits
My cupboard was woefully stocked
Why would I be seen with such a social refugee?
'Cause you always looked good next to me?
That's right

So we were
Jenny, and Sarah
A vulgar display
The queen of the prom
And her weird protégée
I starred
I ran lights!
In the school cabaret
I mean, have you heard Sarah sing?
Good golly, it's embarrassing (ah)

We were contrary forces, who somehow combined
Friends 'til the end of the line

Then something crazy happened, right after twelfth grade
That summer I blossomed and bloomed
I stepped into the sunlight
After years in the shade
And a beautiful swan was exhumed

Meanwhile, I was working at the local Dairy Queen
And ballooned up to plus size 16
Uh, Jenny
18... It's just so delicious!

We both showed up at college, and no need to pretend
I was popular right off the bat
And everyone was asking, "Sarah, who is your friend?
"The one who's so..."
Interesting?
"... Fat!"

All this malice aimed at Jenny was quite startling and new
So, I did what all best friends would do

I said
"I'm Sarah, she's Jenny
We used to be close
Now she's desperate, and clingy
And sort of morose
I heard she gobbles Peanut Buster parfaits by the gross
In all the world is there a sight
More tragic than this parasite?"

So that is our story
And ain't it divine?
Friends 'til the end of the
Cold bitter end
I guess
This is, the end of the line