Black Hole

Is this how I started
I know I've been out of it
Been feeling like this for so long that I don't know if I am about it
I'm feeling so fake now
I feel it's too late now
I wanna move forward but every time I take a step in
I breakdown
I've been trying to get my mind straight
But lately all I'm playing are these mind games
I, wonder if I can find ways
To get me through these times in these dark days
I, lose it when I hope to high
Lately I just wanna light up and fly
But I use to abuse so I'm out of sight
If I see a pillie I might just might
Give it in give it all man I don't know
Man this world got me feeling like I'm dolo
Got my friends got my fam I ain't solo
But my soul in a bind and I can't go
On anymore
But I can't lose control
I got God on my side man i don't need no more
I got wealth on my mind man I gotta feed my folks
I done gave many tries it's so easy losing hope

I try to see through it
I know that it's lucid
I look for the music
Or else I feel useless
My mind is a vortex
I'm living to cash checks
It's gone before it hits
I need you to listen
It's so damn repetitive
Fits with the narrative
Lace us with sedatives
How are we bearing it
How are we bearing this I am not sure
We look for a God but he look so obscure
We look to ourselves but we feel insecure
Depression be mightily making a blur
We need satisfaction
We need some reaction
We need you to tell us the truth and not mask it
Everyday feeling like I rolled in a casket
Y'all don't really know but I'm trying move past it
Maybe it's just me maybe I'm lacking
They say it's in my head that I gotta quit acting
But the fact is that I'm stuck here
Been trying pull through maybe next year
Everyday feeling like deaths near
Y'all don't really know how this really feel
I need to numb the pain
Get away from my brain
Man I hate when they say
That they think I'm insane
All I need is support
Give me time don't abort
I know times running short
But I'm worth that and more