Dear Doctor (50th Anniversary Edition)

Oh help me, please doctor, I'm damaged
There's a pain where there once was a heart
It's sleepin', it's a'beatin'
Can't ya please tear it out
And preserve it right there in that jar

Oh help me, please mama, I'm sick'nin'
It's today that's the day of the plunge
Oh, the gal I'm to marry is a bow-legged sow
I been soakin' up drink like a sponge

Don'tcha worry, get dressed, cried my mother
As she plied me with bourbon so sour
Pull your socks up, put your suit on, comb your long hair down
For you will be wed in the hour

So help me, please doctor, I'm damaged
There's a pain where there once was a heart
I'm sleepin', it's beatin'
Can't ya please take it out
And preserve it right there in that jar (yup)

Oh help me, please doctor, I'm damaged
There's a pain where there once was a heart
It's sleepin, it's a'beatin'
Can't ya please tear it out
And preserve it right there in that jar

I was tremblin', as I put on my jacket
It had creases as sharp as a knife
I put the ring in my pocket, but there was a note
And my heart it jumped into my mouth

It read, darlin' I'm sorry to hurt you
But I've no courage to speak to your face
But I'm down in Virginia with your cousin Lou
There'll be no wedding today

So help me, please doctor, I'm damaged
You can put back my heart in its hole
Oh mama, I'm cryin' tears of relief
And my pulse is now under control (yup)