Closer

Pencilin' on a pad
I been on my thoughts, like crazy, I need you back
Prayers to the most high when I'm most high
Fuck a good day, I'm happier when I'm sad
I been on the road and speakin' to no one else
The money come in low, I'm dealin' with what I'm dealt
This is for my unborn child, needed my help

I'm lookin' for the type of the freedom that I ain't felt
It's only gone to waste if you buyin' a Gucci belt
But we Gucci when we excel and that Gucci is not for sale
Damn, don't you leave me when I rebel
My baby says she loves me, but she needs me to be myself
Room full of vultures, cool, I'm coastin'
You be boastin', chain on flex, but you be chokin'
Ain't no jokin', I been floatin'

Off that green I'm smokin', they don't want this
Smoke when I step up, east side resident
Drink club president, made it out the ends and I'm the evidence
Still gotta check on my mama, make sure she good
She loves it when I come back for Christmas and eat the food
There's nothin' like a blessing that's precious to what you do
I'm learnin' to be honest with people that needed truth
I'm keepin' it one hundred, I'm hopin' you keep it, too
See, growin' is a process, I needed to see it through
Damn

Is this what you want from me?
I give you all of me
What it's supposed to be
I'm learnin', I'm keepin' you closer
Scared that my heart's gone colder
Grindin' it out 'til it's over
Take hold, and now you know

Workin' it while I can
Promise is forever, I'm startin' to understand
The boulder's on my shoulders, I'm startin' to take a stand
I gotta show the way for our people to make it out
I was youth club killin'
Kickin' bull when they gave the notice for eviction
Sixteen had about five bills for it
I gave it to my moms and told her I was down for it
She told me that it's cool, that's at least a couple months
I could tell by the look on her face it wasn't enough
Fuck it, we roll with the punches 'cause that's what's up
And our people would try and front
I try not to go there, but fuck it, it's what they want

I never live my life for the vision of someone else
I really gotta see, get a feel for it for myself
Couple years back I was feelin' it with my health
Yeah, I put on weight, I was hidin' from what I felt
Bills, bills, bills had me feelin' like I ain't shit
Splashed a couple thousand, was strugglin' with the rent

Thinkin' to myself, "How I get this deep?
How I'm deep in the hole, and how my fam don't know?"
Tryna keep the smile good to avoid convo
But that shit build up and them tears build up
So if you're lookin' for a shoulder you can lean on
Just to get the steam off, thinkin' what I kept closed up
Damn

Is this what you want from me?
I give you all of me
What it's supposed to be
I'm learnin', I'm keepin' you closer
Scared that my heart's gone colder
Grindin' it out 'til it's over
Take hold, and now you know

That I been patient lately
And though I been racin' lately
All I know is darkness lately
Ahh, yeah (Ahh, yeah)
Prayin' that this world don't take me, no
Everything I gave to my heart and soul
I'm in need for somethin' that is real and not false
Love me as I am, no, and I'll go, right