Growing Up

An open soliloquy to the restless voice in me -
Do you miss the days of being young, naive and free?
When a merciful god made more sense to me
But now i just let the bank accounts bleed because i'm so concerned with living someone else's happy
And now I have a thousand questionable answers to a thousand unanswerable questions
And uncontrollable obsessions that are getting the best of me
Are they getting the best of you, too?

Sometimes Philly seems like worlds away
And it feels so goddamn cliche to feel this way
But i miss being younger, oh, i miss those days

Remember me 'cause I'll never forget you

On days like this when i don't know what i want
I go for walks around the neighborhood in this august heat
I step down the temperate suburban streets
Hoping our souls will someday again meet
The promise of you is every person i see and you're in every single thought i think and you're still the last person i want to see
But maybe soon i'll have a cool employer, maybe he'll give me the keys to the company car
Or maybe i'll pass out underneath the hotel foyer
Stumbling home drunk from the bar
Fuck, I liked myself better when i liked myself better
'Cause i think i got scarred and i haven't been the same
And I think i'm the only one to blame because i fell in love with the idea of you instead of you and now that i can't disclaim

Singing i'm lucky to've know you, if i don't see you again
But this was never about her and this was never about me, it was about my own inner shit simmering underneath
And dammit i'm willing to fight this with you if you're willing to fight this with me

Growing up is pain but i'm ok with that