Back to Me

Where do I begin
Where do I begin
Where do I begin
Getting back to me

Where do I begin
Where do I begin
Where do I begin

Getting back to me

Where do I begin
Been left alone
The darkest place I've been
Don't know where to go
I'm writing down my pain
I call it home
This book without a name

I call my own
I call my own

Can't let 'em see what's in my head
Silence fills the room with my regrets
Lord I need your strength to stand again
From walk to crawl
I'm a crippled man
I'm a crippled man
But lord I try
Been lost without you
Been walkin' blind
But the maps gettin' blurry
Ex marks the spot
That I made a change
And I'm movin' on
Cuz when darkness called
I picked it up
Lord forgive me for the mess
Things were gettin' tough
I don't mean to vent
But it's all I got
And every time I tried to call
I'd hang it up
I been haunted lately
Honestly causin' pain that follows me
Left me hollow
I don't know how I got here
I know that feelin' hollow
Is the side effect of followin'
The feelin' and dealin' with this pain
And givin' in to my own fears
So tell me now
Matter of fact
Better yet
Show me how
I don't mean to sound demanding
But the pain is loud
If I can't hear you
Let me see you
Let me feel you through the crowds
I never thought I'd be the one to give up
Give the world what it wants
Maybe just once
But it happened so fast that I got lost
Thinkin' it's all-good
I still believe in you
Once a week seein' you
So no worries right
Yeah
I mean
I'm in no hurry right
Yeah
But they lied
Mixin' anger with the pain I kept bottled inside
Causin' issues I never knew that I had
But I guess I gotta thank 'em
Cuz through the pain I got to see who really cared
It really showed me who was real and who was fakin'

Now maybe I can smile
When I'm lookin' in the mirror
And that's real

Where do I begin
Where do I begin
Where do I begin
Getting back to me

Where do I begin
Where do I begin
Where do I begin
Getting back to me

Where do I begin
Been left alone
The darkest place I've been

Don't know where to go
I'm writing down my pain
I call it home
This book without a name
I call my own
I call my own

The simplest of thoughts bring the deepest of feelings
Lonely nights make pain the realist
My book is covered up in unknown thoughts
Cuz those pages get ripped out and tossed
I've been in this place for so long
It feels like
I don't know who I am
Thinkin' about all the pain that I caused
So Lord let me trust in your plan
My pride got the best of me
Tried to take over everything
Telling me this is what's best for me
I couldn't tell you why I let it get to me
But I did I lost sight of my blessings
I guess that's the lesson please
Let me back in I'm in need of your grace
All these obstacles that I've been dealin' with
Got my life feelin' like the amazing race
They say the struggle and hustle is what it's all about
But that's the problem 'cuz I'm lost in my fears and doubts
I got wrapped up in the world's selfish cloud
Now I'm wonderin' how to get out
Cuz all of these people around me tellin' me things
Like how I should feel
And how I should deal
With issues and all of the pain
But I never meant to
Really neglect you
I been talkin' to students
And not the professor

Thinkin' that they've been through it
Like they might know better
That's like predicting the weather
If I had just opened my book and read it

I'd be prepared for the lesson
Like I came with paper
But no number two pencil

Where do I begin
Where do I begin
Where do I begin
Getting back to me

Where do I begin
Where do I begin
Where do I begin
Getting back to me

Where do I begin

Been left alone
The darkest place I've been
Don't know where to go
I'm writing down my pain

I call it home
This book without a name
I call my own
I call my own

Where do I begin
No no, no no

Where do I begin
Where do I begin
Where do I begin
Getting back to me

Where do I begin
Been left alone
The darkest place I've been
Don't know where to go
I'm writing down my pain
I call it home
This book without a name
I call my own
I call my own