Merciful Universe

Maybe this year will be the year
That the dragons finally awaken
And gather their scattered bones
From museums where they were forsaken
And they'll march with the zombies and the werewolves
And the vampires and the monsters who want to undo us
To make war with the aliens and the mad scientists
And the monsters who want to control us
And then maybe in the midst of it all
You were waiting for some girl to call
While our demons found constructive use for all of their hate
I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe this year,
We get our priorities straight

Maybe this will year be the year
We all turn our faces to the sky
And see a caravan of asteroids
On their way to make us all die
It's another extinction and death makes no distinction
Between the bad and the good
So we laugh and we dance and we meet all the people
We never knew lived in our neighborhoods
And maybe, in the nick of time,
The asteroids turn away on a dime
And even Neil DeGrasse Tyson is shaken to the core
I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe this year,
I'll get out a little more.

Oh, it's a merciful universe
(Except when it's not)
Oh, it's a well-ordered world
(Unless you're living on a pale blue dot)
And there is nothing more to know
And there is nothing more to know
And there is nothing more to know
(Except for all that you don't)

Maybe this day will be the day
That we shake off all of our debts
And the unicorns come to our rescue
And we start winning all of our million-dollar bets
Or else maybe today is the day that love rents a room
And signs a lease for the year
Or else maybe today all of the oil dries up
And we find that we have nothing to fear
But if you want to know what I think
I think I need another drink
Better make it whiskey because I'm sick and tired of this winter chill
I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe this year
We'll finally get our fill.