The Best Song in the World

Well, I got up from bed this mornin', went outside to stretch my knees
Pick up the morning papers, walk around and catch some breeze
I searched inside my pocket for some money I could spend
When I met up Daisy Lee, my good old childhood friend
She was messy like a beggar, wond'rin' up and down the street
Stinkin' worse than fish, her face as dirty as my feet

She was talkin' to herself around, just like a loon
I went up to her and hoped that she would recognise me soon
She looked at me and said, I know you, or at least I hope I do
I said, You're right, you're Daisy Lee, so what's been up with you
She said to me, My friend, I hope that you won't mind the smell
But could you sit yourself down and hear the story I've got to tell

We sat down on a park bench and I said, So, what's the deal
She said, I've been cheated by people who don't feel guilty when they steal
I wrote the best song in the world, but no one thinks I'm for real
'Cause everybody I talk to does not believe my skill
Nobody believes me, they all think that I'm a freak
You may think that I'm a freak too, but at least I have to speak

I wrote the song some time ago, it made me feel so proud
That I just thought I would do well if I could put it out
I went down to the studio and did it all myself
I played every instrument, and hoped that it would sell
The producer, he thought it wouldn't, he said that it sucked
I said to him, Well, maybe, but I wish to try my luck

So, the single didn't get released, that is all I can say
But I felt deep inside I had been cheated in some way
I realised that everyone was rippin' off my song
And there was nothing I could do, though I knew it was wrong
Pink Floyd stole my bass line, though I really don't know when
But it ended up on Money, and the credit went to them

Well, the producer denied everything, he told me to go home
And I had no way to prove that the song was my own
Meanwhile, Jimmy Page was stealin' all my guitar riffs
And that is why Led Zeppelin is famous as it is
If you think the drummin' in Rush's songs is great and wonder why
Just keep in mind who Neil Peart was really inspired by

The rippin' off went on, and I thought it couldn't be
But Zappa's Peaches in Regalia stole my melody
Jimi Hendrix stole my solos, and it really hurt my skull
But even my flute playin' was ripped off by Jethro Tull
Even that Bob Dylan! That vocal style was mine
They did everything freely, and I didn't get a dime

I sat there, dumbfounded, hearin' the story she did tell
I asked her, What was the song called? she said, Tubular Bells
I said, Well, I've got to help such a great friend like you
I'll talk to Pinkie Pwaifu, there must be something she could do
She said, You think that she can help? You think that she'll believe
I said, Maybe not, but she might find you a better place to live

So, I found I couldn't move after everything she said
The poor girl is insane, I got to help before it's too late
I sat, in disbelief, and then, to relieve my stress
I asked her, Did your song have any lyrics? she said, Yes
I said, Well, then, who took them? Where do they now belong?
She said, You'll prob'ly rip them off and use them in this song