River's Mouth

Was I your river, always moving and going nowhere?
You were my ocean, standing still, you were everywhere
Both directions felt like dying, felt untrue
My reflection was dragged over stones but I still ran to you

Is that all you have?
Was I too much, too fast?
Don't make me laugh at myself
I was saving you for last and I don't know why

Were all your others just as fearful as I of you?
The waves don't cover all those souls who thought that they loved you
Salt and bitter: I pour myself in with a crashing sound
The blood gets thinner, yours inside me, I begin to drown

Was that all you had?
Was I too weak, too sad?
Don't make me laugh till I cry
I was saving you for last and I don't know why

Now you tell me that it wasn't laughter
And you were only ever playing actor
Only trying to avoid disaster
Because there was only one thing I was after all this time
Tomorrow I'll wake up and I'll feel fine
And you won't ever cross my mind
And I don't know why