Feel

This is sad
This is sad

I can never seem
To feel
The way you want me
To feel
And what you want
And what's real
I cannot do at will
I cannot do at will
I cannot do at will
I can never seem
To feel
The way you want me
To feel

Yeah
Leave and leave me lifeless
Stop the games
I don't feel like playing life it's
Just another way
To go and leave me lightless
Let the darkness in
Just to come expand my iris
Feel like the world is caving in
And I'm uncapable
Of painting a picture
That you like
Cause you hate them all
You went ahead and took my heart
But didn't take my soul
Making it look
In certain situations
What it ain't at all
Somebody let me know
Exactly why you're telling me
That I'm a piece of shit
And I'll never amount to anything
And the worst about it is
Is after awhile
I start to believe it
And the fact that you tell
Everyone that you know
Doesn't decrease it
I'm a lost person
Think you knew that
When you found me
You said
You'd never give up on the fact
That I was a down bring
I told you that I saw
Darkness and sometime
You'd walk away
From me forever
To go and find your sunshine
Seems like

I can never seem
To feel
The way you want me
To feel
And what you want
And what's real
I cannot do at will
I cannot do at will
I cannot do at will
I can never seem
To feel
The way you want me
To feel

Yeah
Staring at a blank page
Always feeling like
I'm dealing with the same rage
There only is so much
Until a man caves
Staring at a million problems
While there's so many I can't face
It's like we did it
For nothing
Look into the past
Like it's something
To keep me going insane
And I'm always scared of what's coming
It's like I'm falling and tumbling
Right into all of my problems
It's like I'm stuck in my solitude
Always writing a song
And it's just depressing
When I try to keep
My demons at bay
But it's hard to have
Some self esteem
When I hear what you say
But I'm far from perfect
I'm trying
Can't you see that
I put my heart in every single word
Fuck your feedback
I'm tryna do myself
And keep my fans happy
I'm doing something different
I don't like you coming at me
But I guess it doesn't matter
In the end
Because I'm all yours
Music went from being my expression
Into closed doors
Seems like

I can never seem
To feel
The way you want me
To feel
And what you want
And what's real
I cannot do at will
I cannot do at will
I cannot do at will
I can never seem
To feel
The way you want me
To feel

I retreated into the back corners of my skull
Trying to find comfort in empty rooms
With blinding white walls
I had to learn to sleep with open curtains
The moon and black sky's
Being the closest thing I have to company
I've nicknamed them my nightlight
I've come to fear the blank vastness
And walking in shadows
When insomnia gets too comfortable is
Well
Comforting
They call it the swamp
And that's where my heart is
With my skin breaking at the seams
I'm splitting open and wearing thin
I'm led painted
With my colors bleeding through
It reminds me of watercolor
Worn thin
Trying to break through
And let the brightness in
Shine through your canvas
Your edges are so rough