Lizzy's Smile

There's a little public ale-house
That goes without a name
It's plain and dull but always full
Of Paddies just the same
The place is nothing special
The beer is weak and bland
And the maid behind the bar goes by
The name of Lizzy Dent
Now Lizzy isn't what you'd call
The fairest of them all
She's skinny as a scarecrow
And only five feet tall
But Lizzy has a thing that draws
The men from miles around
One look in your direction
Will knock you to the ground
Cos Lizzy has a smile
That will dazzle you a while
A smile so sweet and bright
It will make your life worthwhile
I would walk a muddy mile
Just to see young Lizzy smile
Her neck is like a gannet's
Her back is stiff and bent
But all I seem to notice is
The smile of Lizzy Dent
A bosom like two teabags
Upon a birdlike chest
But oh that blissful smile makes you
Forget about the rest
Cos Lizzy has a smile
That will dazzle you a while
A smile so sweet and bright
It will make your life worthwhile
I would walk a muddy mile
Just to see young Lizzy smile
Her pale hands play the beer-pump
As she pulls another pint
The taste is bloody awful
But I don't really mind
As long as Lizzy's smile awaits
At the bottom of the glass
I'll drink until I'm sober
And cough up all my brass
Lizzy you're so ugly
Lizzy you're so thin
Lizzy can I have your smile
Tattooed upon my skin
Lizzy won't you smile at me
Lizzy Lizzy please
Lizzy won't you come along
And set my mind at ease
I would walk a muddy mile
Just to see young Lizzy smile
Just to see young Lizzy smile