Mr. Smith, 3rd period, Forever!

I can't stop thinking about how I'm not made for this
Yes, a general this, like the general abyss of eating normal and keeping friendships
And doing schoolwork, or getting a job
But the problem is, I can't stop thinking
Of how I haven't showered in over 24 hours
And the last time I spoke to my mom I was a dick
And the last time I spoke to my dad was like last week

I gotta catch up, but fuck that
I perpetually felt the need to cater to a standard that is not in my vocab
And I've tried to get new habits, but I break them just as easy
Oh, fucking up's too easy

I'm regretting telling my mom that I want to kill myself
I feel a shame inside, like something died inside ber when she felt that
Her son Jake hasn't been quite the same since he hit the fucking weed
That made his life feel like a dream and all his dreams feel like a breeze

Well, Mom, I'm sorry and I promise that I won't really hurt myself
It gets frustration out, admittedly, it's real bad for my health
And I love you, mom, I think I really love myself
Since I refound my will to live with the help of Mr. Smith

I know he's got a room that he can show me 'round
Performing and upkeeping for the rest of his eternity
But Mr. Smith, I've got to go, because I love my mom
And mom, I'm sorry that I even thought of causing myself harm

I can't stop thinking about the amount of pain I'm in
I can't communicate it in a proper way
Like, hey, I'm hurting, I think I need help
I'm so damn stubborn, I'm so naïve
But the problem is, I can't stop thinking of how I push away the only people that I like
But I'm not sure I even like them, I'm too fucking misanthropic
Just as soon as Marty Cynic, who is too fucking judgemental

Gotta calm down, but fuck that
I perpetually felt a sense of anger towards the world that I just wanna do away with
But I don't know where to start
And it's the saying it that's easy
Oh, fucking up's too easy

We're all just stupid bitches trying just to get along
When I was 12, I took the place of where I fucking put my mom
I talked to strangers on the web about how they just want to die
And told them that I am so sorry that their life is on the line

I love the kid that did that shit
I love his greasy, stupid hair
I love the way he sees the world as if it's all so fucking cool
And I love how he has kept all of those big thoughts inside his head
Of how to stay alive and how love rules the big old stupid world
And I love him