Rewind

Dear Ethan of 2019
Listen I don't have much time
Cause seconds are gonna stop
And your thoughts are gonna build
Hours halt
As time stands still
Right now, you're in the calm before the storm
So you have to prepare your mind
So please, take in what you can
Cause just like in life, once you enter
You can't press rewind

I remember that moment
I was writing the first batch didn't know much of it
Then a line popped in my head I didn't get it
I really couldn't understand it
I thought of sleeping in the shower and dreaming of the seasons
When I wake up you'll finally learn my reasons
But what does that mean in the context of my world
Will it catch fire or freeze over cold
Then something occurred to me deeper than what the eye could see
What if randomness in itself is beauty
So I decided to write a song
That no one would get except for me
But I kinda wish I could go back to that time
Laying in a sleeping bag stuck in my mind
Back in NC serving on a mission trip
Before life flipped and I abandoned ship

So why can't time
Just stand still
So I won't forget
What I did in Taylorsville
And with the hell of a year coming for your life
You gotta take every chance to make things right
So enjoy your time you got on the field with North's drumline
So you don't have to take this entertainment show and press

Expectations are high but I'm not fine
I'm running from my problems but I'm stuck in time
A hand is pulling my foot down to the floor
I'm sinking in the sand cause I reach for more
The voices in my head keep messing me up
They push me over the line. Overfill my cup
Keep going: the lies flood my modeled mind
Keep going: I got no limits but am actually fried
Not enough, am I worth enough? can I go
Far enough? Get me out of this nightmare I can't wake up
This mindset is like a virus that kills a side of us
The king gets dethroned by spies. It's treasonous
I see my younger self in these times
Smiling and laughing just enjoying life
But now I'm overwhelmed, thoughts pounding my to the ground
It builds as I breakdown

So why can't time
Just stand still
So I won't forget
What I did in Taylorsville
And with the hell of a year coming for your life
You gotta take every chance to make things right
So enjoy your time you got on the field with North's drumline
So you don't have to take this entertainment show and press rewind

Ayder's gone and chain has taken over
And I'm not ready to move on

But now it's time
To wake from this dream
And go back home
To reality

Good luck my friend