Detached

Turn this pain all into passion just to get it out
'Cause when I'm sad I know that rapping is the better route
Better than the drugs tryna sort all my depression out
I just hope that one day they'll be pushing all my records out
I be fearing that the industry too big for me
Like everybody listening just couldn't give a shit for me
Like ain't nobody witnessing what I thought was some history
Like my shit ain't the missing piece to all this fucking mystery
But then again my
Ego can float to the top like a dead fish
I know my music ain't as perfect as I may sense
But ima still put in the work until my death hits
Cuz I know I got the chops to fucking make it
I'm a star, born somewhere past Pluto
Don't belong on earth I can't live the way that you know
Lost inside my mind need a guide feeling too low
All up in my head there be storms call it Juneau
I feel detached, only present when I rap
Other times I feel my mental living somewhere in the past
Or like somewhere out this world disconnected from the mass
That we sit and call our lives without a chance to double back
Like how my body gone define me if it's all up in my head
How this chaos in my mind finna stop when I drop dead
Like how's the physical the literal when I can't prove it's real
Only thing I know for sure is I'm alive within my feels

I be searching for some purpose but it's missing
So I'm hurtin and I'm flirting with my death like it's my mistress
Dreams so vivid of some diamonds that be glistening
But my wishes seem so distant I'm depressed man did I mention?
It sucks feeling like I'm stuck in a rut
Where the motivation go? Guess I poured it in a cup
When my friends family come to me they ask me man what's up
I just tell 'em that I'm tired I need help but it's too much
Describing what's up in my head is like philosophy
Don't nobody get it 'less they dealing with the problems g
But then again I feel like ain't nobody getting it
Feeling so alone thats when double the depression hits
Try to speak about my issues but I'm blanking
Suffocated thoughts encapsulated by a blanket
Only when they asking me my problems that I'm thinking
By myself they come alive take my mental state and drain it
But still I can't explain it
Feel like a lost cause
Feel like only way to solve all of this pain is with a sawed off
The shell that I done built up finally mofucking thawed off
Now I'm fucking crying tears are flowing waterfall dawg

Ima try to put the feelings into words though
Feeling out of touch with all these people in the world bro
Fog fill up my mind can't even figure out where words go
No matter what I do it ain't enough to kill the urge yo
I feel defeated yet I'm jam packed with ideas
But the execution go when all the inspiration leaving
And the inspiration dipped 'cause I'm so stressed and bitch I'm pleading
To my savior or the satan I need help bitch I just need it

Crazy what a mindset can do to you
I get up in my head don't feel inclined like the usual
I say I wanna die they say why that's so stupid dude
'Cause every time I try I'm denied don't know what to do

And now I'm feeling really lonely
like ain't nobody real enough to be my fucking homie
Like all these fucking dealers really acting like they know me
'Cause I buy in bulk, drop 81 like I'm Kobe

I feel like different people up inside of me
Am I skitzophrenic I'm convinced man I just gotta be
Ask me how I'm doing I say "shit man probably"
'Cause I be up and down like yo funds in monopoly

But what you gon do about a thing? (Listen)
In reality we can all just be kings
Though I'm lost and confused, and in my own little world
I can take charge to chase the diamonds and pearls
Do what I can to move on
Though times I feel I'm not strong
I make music to express the feelings that go on
Making change with a song
When I feel I don't belong
When my head fucking ache 'cause my heart feeling wrong

So I guess this shit is my life
Is there really any reason to solve the pain just with a knife?
Gotta make this world my bitch
Like fuck a wife
I feel empty so do others so I'll dedicate my time

To helping these motherfuckers my sisters and brothers, others
The people that struggle, under
A feeling of emptiness cuz we here for a reason
I know it's tough but believe it
Man we in this shit together, we can weather the seasons