Everyday im Trying My Best

I miss it all but I won't call you
It's getting hard and I won't tell you
It's my fault I'm so damn far
It's my fault its always my fault

But I'm holding on with everything that I got
And it's on me from the god damn start
I keep wasting all the fucking time that I get
Knowing damn well ima grow old with regret
I can hardly fall asleep I hate it
Can't get through the day if I'm not faded
Think I need to talk to my dad I know
I can taste the words but I still won't say shit
If everybody stab my back how I'm supposed to trust you
No bitch I ain't coming back I know what that lust do
I been going hard if you ain't with me then it's fuck you
I can't fuck with people and I'm sorry if I dubbed you

Take a piece of my wings every time I fall
Blame me for those things say it's all my fault
I can't be mad at anyone with the cards I was dealt
I keep on sacrificing me for everybody else
Sometimes things never go as planned
I don't need you or a helping hand
I feel like no one understands
And even if they did it wouldn't matter
I can hear the voices in the room and all the chatter
I know something big is coming soon I hope its what I'm after
And I'm praying to the sky that it don't come with a disaster
Cause in this life I see you take a step and move backwards
Tell me how does that work okay
How much longer do I got until I'm okay
I keep staring at the clock I do it all day
I know everything I'm not and that's what's wrong with me
But fuck that they ain't give a fuck
So why the hell would I give a fuck back
I get high like everyday its safe to say I love that
I can't find my peace of mind
Nothing was the same when you crossed that line
But don't you worry ill be fine
I won't run and I won't hide
I feel lost I don't wanna be found
I'm trying hard not to let you down