the deepest grave

I met you on a Monday
And soon I knew you well
And I told you all my secrets
That I never thought I'd tell
And yes, we had been drinking
But I meant what I said
And since
I haven't stopped thinking of
The belt I left by your bed

Then, by afternoon on Tuesday
All my friends knew your name
And I missed you so badly
And you missed me just the same
So, on Wednesday we drove circles
Until you found a place
To park down by the water
And run yourself down my face

Hey, I think we've got a good thing going
But you've got some big decisions left to make
He doesn't have to know about anything
And you know where I'll be

You drove me home with one hand
The other on my thigh
And you missed all of the exits
So I didn't have to say goodbye
Though, I wish you would've kissed me
In the gleam of your headlights in my driveway
It just gave us a reason
To try again on Saturday

"What's the date today?" you asked
I said, "November 6th"
"Write your name so I can keep this inside my pocket
And I'll always have a little piece of you with me
When you're not by my side and I get lonely"
I wonder if you kept the picture like you said you did
Well, I cut mine in pieces and I threw out the orchid
Did you mean it when you said I'm beautiful
Or did your drinks somehow get the best of you?

I wish I never let you touch me
I wish you kept your word
And all of this just moved so fast
But I thought it was good
And now my body doesn't feel like mine
I've dug myself the deepest grave this time
Your pupils used to dilate every time you looked in my
"Big brown eyes" is what you called them
Now you tell me that I'll be fine
It's just a brisk affair we had
Now, I'm drawing a line
I blocked your number, washed my sheets
I've dug myself the deepest grave this time

Now, I've had some time to think about what all went down
And just as fast as I fell for you, I came back around
I was just emotionally selfish when I got out of your car
Blind by what I knew was coming since that oh-so-fateful start
Are there still no hard feelings like you promised me when you said
That I hit you like a train and left your limp body for dead
Is it too soon to unblock you and ask how your week has been
I can't blame you for how I'm always left with the shorter end

Of the stick
That I put all of my strength into
Sometimes timing isn't right
But for that, I could never hate you
If you wanna be, platonically
An old buddy of mine
I'm sure that I could find it in me
To pretend I'm fine