Anxious Reappraisal

Lying wont change reality
But I lie to myself everyday hoping that someday it might
That I could still get over this fucking rut that I've disguised and called my home
That one day I'll change my thoughts or stop telling myself I want to be better
Cause that's a fucking lie

How the fuck do you fix someone when they're not actually broken
I'm completely fine and that's the worst fucking part

I want to be here in this suicidal craze
Struggling with the process of thinking these fucking thoughts away
Self hatred's the only personality I've got
If I don't have a reason I'll be sure to make one up
If I don't I'll stay lost
Continue to let myself rot
Broadcast my stupid ass habits
For the sake of being an artist
I think I just want to get by being pathetic
Do I want to get by in life
Just getting drunk and high
Wasting my fucking time
What am I even clinging to
Being weak while being admired too
Is being hurt just too amazing to lose
Is this really what I'd dreamed I'd do

How the fuck do you fix someone when they're not actually broken
I'm completely fine and that's the worst fucking part
I have no fucking excuse
I have no fucking excuse

What good is self deprecation
If it amounts to nothing
Just a false sense of productivity
To comfortably keep me from moving
Waste my creativity on excuses
So there's nothing left for solutions
Would I rather believe I'm powerless
Than to accept I can change it
I couldn't handle believing
This bed is my doing
That I had all the tools
And only used it for wreckage
I don't want to add to the toxic belief
That somehow I'm better than what I seem
What more am I than what they all see
Am I really just thinking myself to sleep
But what then is life when pain just wont rhyme
What then am I if this is lost time
No its not pain its suicide
Its not a mistake its a fucking crime
I am the problem
I manipulate
I am the problem
I romanticize pain
I am the problem
I manipulate
I am the problem
I romanticize pain
What am I even clinging to
Being weak while being admired too
Is being hurt just too amazing to lose
Is this really what I'd dreamed I'd do
Is it okay to feel regret
Am I justified being useless

How the fuck do you fix someone when they're not actually broken
I'm completely fine and that's the worst fucking part
I have no fucking excuse
I have no fucking excuse
What am I even clinging to
What am I even clinging to



Credits
Writer(s): Andrew Johnson
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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