I'm Not Okay and That's Okay

One of the most difficult things to do
Is to tell somebody that you're not doing okay
You know
When people ask you how you're
Doing your reflex reaction is to say
Okay even when you're not
Trust me it's okay

I'm picking up the pieces of myself But I'm doubting that I find them all
Head aching so bad that I'm cheeking and chewing tylenol
I tried to strangle the pain decided to drown it all in this bottle of vodka
A Hundreds the proof cause when
You've got real problems only a hundred will do
Sick of saying the waits over hoping
This hangover will loosen up the grip of this monkey over my shoulder
Gun crammed in the hostler praying I don't go postal
Becoming poster child of the cats that did what they were suppose to
Should've went global but I'm stuck here local
Cause I'm Detroit Midwest all that means to us is really we're no coast so
Back to basics back to the basement
Back to searching for classics while digging through crates and
In this pursuit of greatness
The finish line
Are my finished lines
It's the reason that I'm different

I'm not okay and that's okay
Cause that's the way I get through it
I'm not okay and that's okay
Get it out when I do my music
I'm not okay and that's okay
Cause that's the way we get through It
I'm not okay
And that's okay

I'm chasing my dreams but I'm catching nightmares
I guess that's the result of me breathing in night air
Wake up seeing my mother
Reaching with everything I got I can't touch her but I knew she's right there
In a world that's chaotic I know my problems are minuscule
But if you've been through what I've been through
You'd understand why I'm leaning on my chemicals
Or why at times lean has been the chemical
Dependent on depressants
Whenever I feel my mental
Fueled and I'm riding off the rails
Near misses with success but it seems I'm colliding with every fail
Losing my balance waiting for justice to tip the scales
Guilty's my admission
Truth without omission
And honestly my gift came with the
Cost of a mission if you took the time listen
By know you understand the reason
Why I'm different and I'm not okay

I'm not okay and that's okay cause that's the way I get through it
I'm not okay and that's okay
Get it out when I do my music
I'm not okay and that's okay
Cause that's the way we get through It
I'm not okay
And that's okay

I finally made it to the point that I was destined
I can see the full picture while the artist is still sketching
Read the writing on the wall
While the author of it all
Is still gathering his thoughts and trying to pen out the message
Looking at my parents
Not knowing if their steps in
The life will have them in the
Next begging to get in
Walked around my life
Half the time with a death wish
Clinical diagnosis
An extreme case of sepsis
Lost a lot of family members
A Couple of best friends
Whole lot of relationships all ended In dead ends
Now young Dutchie feeling just like a compass for all you lost causes
Now giving directions
Understand it's not a game
And the reason why you and me are not the same
Cause if I fail
I'mah be the only one I blame
But until then
Know I'm not okay
And that's okay

I'm not okay and that's okay cause that's the way I get through it
I'm not okay and that's okay
Get it out when I do my music
I'm not okay and that's okay
Cause that's the way we get through It
I'm not okay
And that's okay

We all know somebody that's going through something
And it's not the easiest thing to do to ask them if they need help
Or the need somebody to talk to
And if you are that person and you need someone to talk to please do so
Mental health is a taboo in our community we need to break that cycle
We need to open up about it