Suicide Vibe

Committing suicide, uh that's a vibe
If you knew what was in my head
You wouldn't be offended
A couple of times I've wanted to try
But didn't want my mama to cry
Never got to say goodbye
Tried to fight, but it multiplied
Now my brain synapses fried
So fried that I can't even cry
Can't even ask why

Digression in session, I'm tryna see it a life lesson
Negative thoughts trespassing
And I'm filled with aggression
Shit is so dull, man
I miss the fluorescence (miss the fluorescence)
I'm tеlling you damn, this wasn't part of my plan
Looking back when I was ten
Thought I had the world in my hands
I didn't know that shit could get so bland
Didn't know that dеath could sound so comforting
If I could tell little me, that it gets harder to breathe
Harder to be happy
Would she even understand the problem at hand?
The trials she would fathom, as she grew into a woman

Thoughts filled with anxiety
Psyche really be trying me
And the doctor prescribing me
Drugs that never seem to work
Makes me wanna go bezerk
Makes me wanna go bezerk! (uh, uh)
The sense of doom is impending
But I still count up my blessings
These thoughts I'm suppressing
Can't tell by my facial expression
Guess I forgot to mention
Yeah I'm really out here stressing
And I'm tryna use discretion
I'm not ready for the ending

Committing suicide, uh that's a vibe
If you knew what was in my head
You wouldn't be offended
A couple of times I've wanted to try
But didn't want my mama to cry
Never got to say goodbye
Tried to fight, but it multiplied
Now my brain synapses fried
So fried that I can't even cry
Can't even ask why

That's why I scribble this pen, so y'all understand
The troubles that burden me, til' I make amends
Yeah I've seen brighter days, but it's gonna be ok
Because this life be testing
But it's a gift, It's a lesson- listen
Get off social media, that shit is just impeding ya
Get outside, watch some birds fly
Swear that you won't lose your mind
If your feeling worthless, just know you have a purpose
If you haven't found it yet, I swear you will and that's a bet
Don't suppress, wait? That's what society said?
Well, let me tell you that is bullshit, just some lies to be fed
Don't let it get to your head
Does it creep into your thoughts at night when your bed?
Ha, yeah I've been there, done that
Now there ain't no holding back
Got passion in this whack-ass mass of tissue
A brain that's not completely sane, but works for me anyway
I see it as an advantage when it used to be an issue
Best believe I'm here to stay, yeah it's been a price to pay!
But my life is priceless, nothing getting in my way

Committing suicide, uh that's a vibe
If you knew what was in my head
You wouldn't be offended
A couple of times I've wanted to try
But didn't want my mama to cry
Never got to say goodbye
Tried to fight, but it multiplied
Now my brain synapses fried
So fried that I can't even cry
Can't even ask why

One day you'll look back and understand
It was all part of the plan
Look, even when you're full of doubt, and can't comprehend
You'll pull through, or take a new route
Just look at me
I'm living proof (living, living, living, living)