Inner Wounds

I've been dealing with this sickness For a while it's been like a minuet Now
At the point in my life where I feel Like imma have to just sit this Down
Wonder why you still got me here I been praying but you ain't get me Out
Yea the sinning easy, Hardest thing I ever had to do was kill myself
Try to walk around with a smile But for real y'all I been struggling
Reoccurring slip ups got me up Late at night now I'm wondering
Lord deliver me from this place That I'm stuck in before the Summer ends
Yea it's my desires and my Mistakes but they body shape Got Me stumbling
Images with explicit content Kick Open doors that lead to my mind
Sad to say that I lose some days but Often times I be doing fine
2017 when you saved me I'm Delivered right so I wonder why
I'm looking like I fell away from The hand that plucked me like a Branch out the fire
Can I really lose this lord? Cause if That's true then I already have
They make it seem like you save And then you turn around and Leave it in our hands
I'm looking lost at the both of Them knowing what they've done And what the can
It's your will to abstain from it and I try but fail so I don't understand
Walking in this flesh and Im knowing
These steps progress to my death
I been urged to stay far away from my sinful passions but they in my chest
Feeling like I'm sleeping with the enemy cause it's my inner me
That be killing me
When I feel the need for these things
And proceed to act on em I lose my conviction I know that your spirit is grieved

Dealing with these inner wounds leave me so confused they cause irritation
Can't figure out what's wrong inside my heart and mind but its slowly draining
Draining me from the love and peace and the joy I need on a daily basis
Been defeated so long and honestly I ain't even really trying to face it
Feeling trapped inside my mind when all these thoughts surround me
Falling short so I mean Ofcourse them Waves of doubt they drown me
I don't wanna go back to my ways Or that place I was when you Found me
Will I be disqualified?
Or will you greet and crown me
You saw my sins before my birth
And took my place then bore my Curse
Lord remember I was made from Dirt
Remained the worst before you Took that and gave me worth
Gave me a place in church
And still bring out the good Amongst satans work
But how could it be that I couldn't See when he was slithering to Cause pain and hurt
I strayed away far from the Brethren
Reached out and got reconnected
Not where I wanna be gotta hit my Knees cause I still neglect your Presence
Seeking you for my refuge Knowing prayer how imma press through
And you quick to meet my sin with grace
So how can I be quick to condemn Drew