Feeling Drained

If I ain't
If I ain't if I ain't doing what everybody else is doing
If I ain't I'm telling you

If I ain't rap about the guns and drugs
If I ain't rap about what I did coming up
If I ain't rap about all that dirt out the mud
Tell me now would you all really show me love
Every other minute faced with another choice in life
Know in mine I've done some wrong just getting right
Trying to keep a smile when I say high barely getting by
Father please forgive me I know I shouldn't be getting high
But lately it's been spliff after spliff
Zoning out on life already knowing this shit's a trip
Just lost the little homie and almost lost my shit
Made me hug my son and wife you know that shit I'd miss
Don't understand why they all got to play with pistols
Don't understand since when catching bodies became a ritual
And trying to mean mug
Just trying to say something to uplift you
Send blessings your way and everyone that's with you
So hard headed and so used to the drama
Leave um confused and more heated
When I tell um I ain't want no problems
I hear the bad they speaking on my name
I ain't got no comments
Pull the pistol tell you watch yourself
But then I ain't really want to

I'm so lost in a maze
And I ain't talking no Gorilla Zoe or no Lil Wayne
If you can't feel the pain or close to the same
Check yourself to see if your breathing
Cuz we all feeling drained
I'm so lost in a maze
And I ain't talking no Gorilla Zoe or no Lil Wayne
If you can't feel the pain or close to the same
Check yourself to see if your breathing
Cuz we all feeling drained

Where I'm from we're so tired of losing folks
So tired of every time it's mine against the ropes
They give us guns and make us choke off living broke
Got family doing life that couldn't tell you what they did it for
I'm sending money and I'm accepting calls
Trying to teach the little homies a trade and get um off that bloc
I ain't got the answers want to listen when the Spirit talks
Only reason I'm still breathing got to be the grace of God
I played the streets tapped into powder been the plug
Big man on the bloc well at least I thought I was
Living clean looking bac all I sees a scrub
Thinking bout that cell so thankful that ain't me no more
Slowed down on the liquid I had to catch my balance
Ain't a quitter giving up on that old me been a challenge
Living this way better for me and that ain't just from my accountant
Got Higher powers that save me from drowning
Even when no ones around me

I'm so lost in a maze
And I ain't talking no Gorilla Zoe or no Lil Wayne
If you can't feel the pain or close to the same
Check yourself to see if your breathing
Cuz we all feeling drained
I'm so lost in a maze
And I ain't talking no Gorilla Zoe or no Lil Wayne
If you can't feel the pain or close to the same
Check yourself to see if your breathing
Cuz we all feeling drained

Forgive me if I ain't been getting bac
Been to busy out here trying to get it bac
In my prayer closet still got a lot to ask
And a lot of thanks to give for all I have
For the umbrella through the rain when it got bad
For sitting at the table with an outcast
For running bac to get me when I bac slid
For the passion you placed in me to get past it

Thankful