An Open Letter

I forfeit all of my time for you
I let down all of my friends for you
I tell you I hate you and yet you still stay

You take my life as it wants to be
Split my feelings in half and then turn on me
I didn't ask for you, nobody does
But you're here if I want you and here if I don't

So I'll fight you
I'll take pills
I spend hours on Instagram watching my life drain away
Just to feel any kind of ok
You're not welcome
But you're here
And I wish that you weren't cause depressions a bitch
And the autism and all of my mental shit
Makes me tired
No, not that kind
But I am still kicking, life sucks but I'm sticking around
For now

I'm hopeful that you won't control my life
I go to therapy so I don't touch my knife
I hope you leave me but what would I be without you

You know my feelings if you've listened well
What the fuck do I do if I'm happy should tell you
I'm lost and alone but I don't want to leave
Cause depression is safe and depressions is easy

I'll try
And I'll fight
But I'm scared if I do that I'll come back to you
And you won't love the man I've become
Have I peaked
Am I bored
Will alcohol help me and weed make me cooler
Will hard drugs make people think I'm not a loser
I'm scared
That I'm out of time
And the clock might be ticking, but I am still sticking around



Credits
Writer(s): Benjamin Kapit
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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