inner youth

By enjoyed the time through with all people I loved,
I felt like I find the pleasant way that I never found before.
Therefore, I regarded they are my second family in that time,
to be honest.

But now it has already changed at all.
Every time I see their statuses in social media,
I can't do nothing except I only see their new life,
and hoping to be the part of them again.
Stupidly I know if it's not possible to be happened anymore.

I'm really fucked up when all people I loved left me alone.
So since then, I became addicted to being alone.

I'm lost, Im lost, I'm lost in that time.
It's causing me can't control all of my feelings at all.
Also makes me always feeling guilty
when having happy moments in the middle of breakdown.

Do they know if I have a lot of problems
with badly so much I want to tell 'em but I can't?
However, I must keep it as an unspoken feeling.
Because I'm afraid to make them scared away.

But that's all no matter at now.
Since I've tried to understand that reality is,
people just come and then go away in this social life.
At the end, I only can applauding myself
because I win to pass my pathetic inner youth.
Even though, now I hate to being adult.