PURPOSE

I can say that I don't care but
I'd be lying to you
Most my life I always felt invisible
Like I was blind to you
Always looking for acceptance
In the wrong places
Barley had role models
Bottling all emotions
While I'm ordering more bottles
More problems
Barley had childhood friends
Cuz in-between switching schools
I had no identity
Anybody got close
Ghost
In a world so intentional
I got rules and a room
Wounded in school
Didn't have a life
So I figured that music'll do
Got cool with a group
All they wanted was the beats
So it felt like losing a tooth
But I
Never was delusional
I kept rapping
Off shear passion
But lately I feel I lost it
Like what happened
Feeling like it gets worser
As time passes
I don't know what to say anymore
Looking up to God
Then I looked down realizing
I never really pray anymore
But it's no question
As to if I'm even afraid anymore
And I
been losing track of time
Don't know what day anymore
Wonder if raps my place cuz
It's hard to find a way anymore
But I'm
Trying to find the confidence
It's much better when anonymous
I'm never satisfied with my
Accomplishments and if I'm being honest its
Getting hard to really trust people
Feel like everybody got it out for me
Went from barely having no crowd
To everybody overcrowding me
Everybody claim they proud of me
But it was living through the drought for me
When my family didn't have a house to sleep
When five dollars took us out to eat
Whole family had it out for me
Daughter in hospitals constantly
So called homies out clowning me
My boss was always stealing time for me
This shit was really headed down for me

But I ain't finna be the victim though
I play a part in my own oppression
Chasing views and impressions
Obsession and I'm way too invested
That why every other song
Start to sound like every other song
It's expected when
You disconnect from yourself
Then you try connect with the trends and
Y'all music started sounding like
What the algorithm recommends
It's like y'all living through a lens
And these rappers lately start to sound the same
Super hard to find inspiration
Everything is so kill or be killed
And most of its imitation
Now I'm living in a space where
I love the rap game
But for me do I got a place there
If I'm being honest
I been thinking about it lot
The fans like how could you not
We waited too long for the merch
When that album'll drop
I rock with you dawg
But you if can't give it your all
Then a new crown will be in your spot
At war with myself
I don't why
but it happens
I keep on avoiding myself
I'm doing my all for others
In every direction
So lately on record
I feel like I'm forcing myself
I'm thankful for all that I got
I promise
But nothing ever satisfies the hunger
I'm getting really sick and tired no wonder
Cuz I was so young
When discovering rap
Perfecting my craft and
All I wanted was that
Remember stealing Em's lyrics
Was underdeveloped you know
We all started off wack
But now that I'm older
And delt with a little exposure
It comes with its problems in fact
I question if I even want it no more
Cuz I could stack and relax
But
Gotta be careful with that way of thinking
Cuz that could be haunting me back
Yea
All of the homies
Who no longer with me
It's more like a stab in the back
Damn
So for that purpose I think I found purpose
Yea
Just for that purpose I think I found purpose