Family Vacation

You went away with your family on vacation to Venezuela
And I counted down the days til you'd be back
And with 10 to go you broke up me with over Facetime
In the middle of the night
Did I deserve to get done that dirty?
I went to a restaurant by myself earlier that day
And had a little conference with myself, I guess I knew it was coming
I ate a bullshit salad and told myself tonight
We draw some red lines, tonight we tell her
She can't keep taking us for granted
I realize now that I wanted forever
With a version of you I haven't seen in forever
It hurts to lose your best friend
But it's freeing to end the months of wondering
Why doesn't she love me anymore, what's so bad about me?
You said I love you but I'm not in love with you
For someone with so many typos in their messages
It's funny how you're a grammar expert all of a sudden
It's embarrassing how many times I Googled
How to get your partner interested in you again
You sent a message, said my voice it gives you butterflies
And that was just a week ago, how quickly now that you're not mine
How quickly now you're tryna evict me from out your mind
We use to time our runs and now I find out we've run out of time
But damn I fucked this week, damn I'm back up in the streets
Damn I hope you hate yourself, and feel like nothing without me
I grabbed you shit from off the shelf and now
You're someone I can't reach
Now you're someone I can't see
I write this shit so candidly
Honestly I know you chose the right thing moving on
And I respect it and I love you we'll be friends when feelings gone
I hope you never play this song, cuz hurting you is not what I want
You probably read the title stomach sinking musta read that wrong
But damn I hate admitting that I hate thinking that you're relieved
You probably on the bus to work
And feeling like finally you can breathe
No no I swear I'm happy for you, in you I do believe
I pray your next chapter is just exactly everything you need
I wrote that 25 Mins Later first time that we ended
I was there at work it blew up, notifications never ending
But
The only thing I wanted just to pop up on my screen
Was like a message from you saying baby, you are still my dream
And right before your trip this time, I said you might forget me
You told me when you say that shit, the shit it does upset me
But you did not forget me what had happened was way worse
Cuz every time I crossed your mind, I guess it really musta hurt
And you start thinking bout an exit strategy that you could do
To break us down the middle so you could just be you
When hanging round your grandparents is that what brought the doubt
Made you think you won't spend decades
With what you're not sure about
Make me think that I was there for you
When no one else was there for you
Now you won't tell your parents all the
Shit that you've been going thru
Anxiety depression
You feel your path regressing
But you're the smartest person that I know so why you stressing?
And don't you think they'd help you out
Don't you think you need that now
I drove up twice to tell your Dad but both times he was out the house
I'm happy that you blocked me
What happened to you got me?
I thought once I still-own you even if the road gets rocky
That's a Rocky movie punchline, did they miss it? Dammit probably
I dip my pen for Pam and Kippy, Ryan, Nanny, Poppy
I wonder what the stories are that you'll go tell your friends
You showed me how I'll never let somebody treat me ever again
And you said come and join my family here a week or like 10 days
But where that would that have gotten us, you'd say it to my face
Or would I get a pity month, while you deliberate
While you plan a speech and get your courage up to walk way
I could feel it when you loved me, maybe 8 times in 4 months
When we fuck, you grab my dick and you start begging me to cum
Or like
30 into Facetime when you finally relax
You stopped liking reminiscing, you stopped talking bout our past
My cousin's wife stopped loving him until he had a heart attack
Then she loved him for two weeks and then the coldness came right back
I know that made him sit and wonder worry what he lacks
I started thinking you and I had ended up like that