GBmDAD

I've got plenty of trauma from childhood memories
I could pour out the drama on this throw away melody
But was that ever really healing me?
No?
Was it ever really healing me?
No
And one thing I learned from you, dad
You've got to heal that pain before your spirit goes bad

So, I'll just say goodbye
I'll think of ways to smile, even when I cry
I think the kindest thing that I can do
Is to make sure I don't end up like you

I don't even mean that with cruelty
You believed it too. I know that. You told me
You wanted both of your kids
To finally find the peace that you never did

Goodbye, I hope you found some peace in time
Before you finally closed your eyes
I hope the war you fought your whole life
Didn't follow you to the other side

And when you got there, if "there" was anywhere
God, I hope you could finally breathe
Damn, even you deserve some peace
Yeah, even you deserve some peace

The day that you died, I found your notebook
Sometimes at night, I sit and have a look
It seems so strange that this is all that's left
Just a few words when you were clever or upset
And for guys like us, it was often one and the same
How can one life be so full of pain?

Well, I hope you can see I'm breaking the cycle now
I'm working so hard to lift Audrey out
Because, 38 years and I don't think that I've smiled once
Without a little fear or as an ironic response
Well, fuck that. All of that. I deserve to breathe
I deserve peace before whenever I leave

When I was little, I remember watching you sleep
And I prayed that you would stop breathing
And now I'm grieving
Life is so deceiving
What is the meaning of this?
I miss you, but I feel a weight lifted, oh yes