Growing Pains

I'm not sure that I'm here, can't be sure of what's real
"Let it pass", but you know that I'm still
Holding on 'cause I fear

That if I let go, I won't come back
'Cause there's no hope I can take back
All of the love I threw around, it's in a box buried in the ground

'Cause my life is an afterthought, my friends say I should toughen up
And time passes like a lost flying kite
I'm afraid I think of you too much, and someday my time will be up
And I just wish I could go back in time

'Cause I'm growing old, feel myself shrinking
Back to the hole I dug when I was 15
Who will take care of all the flowers
When I'm down there stuck seeking lovers

'Cause I'm just a ghost of all the people who've ever left

And I'm sick of trying hard to save the years I know I've lost,
And all the memories that I've made up in my mind can I hope
To someday bring them over to this life?

'Cause my life is an afterthought, my friends say I should toughen up
And time passes like a lost flying kite
I'm afraid I live inside my head, I don't wanna talk to my friends
'Cause they keep saying I should just forget

'Cause I'm growing old, feel myself shrinking
Back to the hole I dug when I was 15
'Cause I'm still here, please help me leave
They cut the rope, I'm on my knees

'Cause I'm just a ghost of all the people who've ever left