P.T.S.D (feat. Che Noir)

A-N-X-I-E-T-Y, got it in my chest really and I do know why
Calls I be declining at work, climbing under barbed wire
born with a purpose, can't retire is someone following me
Is this bread to keep me quiet?

I'm under heavy pressure, makes me mad paranoid
Awaken from them dreams, of two shots, blazing to my door
Ain't have a pistol, then now protected, rest assured
Surveillance gon' spot him before he make it through the door
If I see two shots again, ain't no more hon on his accord
Pull him off the market, send him quicker to my lord
Anxiety creeps up, such as mumble without no words
Or faster than a skater on that cascade floor
Pushing my pen, give me ease, flashbacks occur
Really got ambushed, feeling a little Tupac Shakur

A-N-X-I-E-T-Y, aside gifted with this purpose, shaytan lurking
Should I call the therapist or should I keep it in quiet
Can't idle, gotta grind soon, as many men approach I'm really, really feeling shy
Born with a purpose, can't retire, I V Salymah, is who the real do desire
Am I preaching to a choir? Randomly feeling strikes, silent nights be so defining
Che Noir, gon' spread your fire, spark us lil bic your pen cannot be whited out

Yo, Call the therapist or should I keep it in quiet
My therapy is a mic, so I wrote a song about it
Call the therapist or should I keep it in quiet

I struggle with holding myself accountable, it's better to blame
Struggle to let my man lead because I never felt safe
My heart bled from anxiety, trauma and backstabbers
Crack baggers turn my pops to a fiend
Hospital scenes, an IV needle stuck in my veins
My first panic attack in a car, blood I'm in pain
I open the door, draw down the street, fall to my knees
Felt like a dream, the harder I sleep, it's harder to breathe
My tongue, my only weapon, I use when devil attackin
Life's been a blessing since, but the fear of it held me captive
How many dealing with pain and they never talk about it
My therapy is a mic, so I wrote a song about it

A-N-X-I-E-T-Y, got it in my chest really and I do know why
Calls I be declining at work, climbing under bob wires
Born with the purpose, can't retire is someone following me
Is this bread to keep me quiet

Told a lie once to protect a friend, then did it again
This time they said cry wolf, weren't the scars evident
It's like they lost they sense, ain't have no common sense
Things got really tense, ain't been the same since
Law and no order, on trial for a crime I ain't commit
Traded truth for loyalty, I'll never do that ish again,
made Calls to Atlanta, reached out to a true brethren
That's when anxiety crept up, she rushed me to the hospital
Ain't no amount of guap gon' stop this pain, let's be real here
It's a part of the Qadr can't stop now, I'm just getting started
Going backwards gon' leave a sister broken hearted
I'm still here, no mistake, got up three times, multiply that by a stack
Despite it all, now I got something to say, looking over my shoulders
As I move with ease, still facing post-traumatic, came from something
If you hearing this, some people not meant to be in your circle
True indeed, when the chicken comes to roost, pray I'm no longer suffering
In my dreams, killed the cousin of death, woke up screaming
Extracting all that I got left, soul sister with a clip