When the End of Days Comes, I'm Gonna Be Fucking Useless

I was far from the only one who was
Inadequately prepared for
The world to be blasted back to the Stone Age
In the Second Great American Civil War
Well, I squandered my college years on music and songwriting
If I'd known back then what I know now
I would've stuck to the hunting and gathering
Now I don't have much to speak of
When it comes to survival skills
There's no way that I can keep myself alive
So I'm gonna have to find somebody
Who will
But unless our tribe leaders decide that we require entertainment via music
When the end of days comes
Oh, I'm gonna be fuckin' useless

Unfortunately for me, I doubt that the post-apocalyptic economy
Will have a large demand for one-man bands
offering political commentary
But maybe if I'm lucky,
I can find myself in the employment
Of a doomsday prepper with an artsy streak
Who needs a symphony composed for their enjoyment

But the moment I feel uninspired or my creativity runs dry
I doubt my new patron will harbor much patience
So I'm gonna start looking for a comfortable place to
Die

But unless our tribe leader decides that we require entertainment via music
When the end of days comes
Oh, I'm gonna be fuckin' useless

Alright, take it from the bridge now

If anybody knows of an all-female tribe seeking a
First-generation male concubine
I can brush up my resume
Tell me where do I apply
But if there be four times for anything to go by
I likely won't be the applicant that they had in mind
My awkward adolescence left me wildly underqualified

And there's a lot of job enjoyment in employment via coitus
So I'm probably not gonna be the only guy in line

But unless our tribe leader decides that we require entertainment via music
When the end of days comes
I'm gonna be fuckin' useless

I will say it again, when the end of days comes
I'm gonna be fuckin' useless