Painting Over

So hold on now to every breeze
Because every moment is a lease
I used to submit to defeat
But we were always born to lose
It's how we handle every wave
How we respond to every change
I swear I've been tossed between the duality
Of empathy and apathy

And somewhere in between is where I rest
While one comforts me
The other lets me be my best
The other lets me be my best

I quickly learned that to be loved
You have to strip away your pride
Then I could become numb
Inanimate to the outcome
Whatever expense it takes to lose yourself
When you can't accept the cards you're dealt

I tried apathy but couldn't help
The helpless feeling in my heart
To see the misfortune of others and to play a passive part
I tried following my bliss
But couldn't help but feel I've missed
What it was like to be alive
While hiding behind an alibi

I gave up on wanting love
I gave up on wanting love

I thought others would follow suite
But the loneliness is deafening
It's hard to feel like things will change
When you're watching the bridges blaze
Uncontrollably I felt a victim to the wind
Forcing me along a path
Until it neglects to care at all
Until I spiral downward into my final resting place

Where I can decompose
Into the dirt I renew
Every aspiration that I ever held onto
Is released
And sinks into the deep recedes
Of who I used to be

I gave up on wanting love
Because I could never be enough
I'm trying hard to care for myself
Painting over every bruise