I Hope it Haunts You

Escapism is my tenured friend
Taking me somewhere else again
Where every fucking thing that flashes through my mind
Isn't just to remind me of a worse time

Trying to fix my mental state
To not insist on such a dreadful fate

In search of feeling alive I die each day
In search of feeling alive

This is me self-admitting how close I am to quitting
Self-medication is all I can do
When my mind needs soothed

I hope others relate but I also don't
I hope something's left for me but I also I doubt

I hope it fucking haunts you everyday
I hope it lingers in your memory
If I had even chose to stay

And I pass that exit everyday
Wondering if I should change my way

I hope it haunts you when you hear my name
I hope it haunts you through your day-to-day
I hope that you can feel the way I did when you left that day

I hope it haunts you

In search of feeling alive I die each day
(I hope it haunts you)
In search of feeling alive I die each day
(I hope it haunts you)

How do I want my finally to end?
Escapism is my only way to mend
This is me knowing that I should self-admit
But afraid of the process that goes with it
Wish I could be strong for myself
Because I would tell anyone else
That they should take care of themselves
But I can't even convince myself

I hope it haunts you when you see my face
(I hope it haunts you)
I hope it haunts you unforgivingly
(I hope it haunts you)
I hope you think about the way
You left me to decay
I hope it haunts you

In search of feeling alive I die each day
(I hope it haunts you)
In search of feeling alive I die each day
(I hope it haunts you)
In search of feeling alive I die each day