Something Changed

Strong willpower, have you seen mine around?
I have misplaced everything but the ground
So much tension, rooted in self doubt
I know I should but I just can't make a sound
You should try to medicate, your fidgeting's a sign
Of your ever present feeling of being behind
No more waiting, I've waited my whole life
Lost track of time, back to end of the line

Say what you want to say, take your time
I know it's tough when the words are stuck

"You're so smart and dumb at the same time"
I can't tell if you're trying to be unkind
Cold kitchen linoleum on my spine
I can feel my body but it sure as hell ain't mine
Too distracted to come up with a rhyme
You'll find out I'm not on the right side of the line
Don't you worry, I made one up in time
So still, my disguise, survives

Say what feels right to say I know you don't
Feel good enough at this stuff

Your biggest worry is that the bad thoughts that get through
About others are things that they think of you
Can't get away from truths that aren't new
Like how no taste is like forbidden fruit
Can't seem to focus enough to get to sleep
The sheep got so tired that now they're counting me
Clever trick you have there up your sleeve
Convincing me of what it is I need

Stay if you want to stay, you're my best
I know it's rough when you're in love

Clearer triggers, easier to activate
At least now I know why I'm always running late
Muddy water, it's an acquired taste
Got used to it so it wouldn't go to waste
Never been on any medication before today
Something changed behind my face
Wonder if I'll go back to how I was before
But I'll never be the same