Love Loses (Idalia Wins)

Do you get red tide on the west coast
Do the dead schools of fish litter the sand
Or did you leave all the algal blooms back home
Is California just too perfect for that?
I'm a miserable shell of an artist
Too in love with the anger to change
And I hated how clearly you saw it
So now you're roped onto my shitty little stage

Oh, I know that it's a lot
I'm sorry, Marcy
No I'm not

As if you knew I'd be losing my shit over you
And the things that I thought we would do, it's true
I made my plans, and they stuck to my head
Like your hands on my skin
And they tell us love wins
The gall
The wit
The guts I had to believe it

Did you drive thirteen hours to see me
Or just to have it held over my head
Just a get-out-of-jail to make it that easy
To slough off the blame in the end
Oh, none of this has any basis
I don't know, I don't care, I can't ask
Past December it's all speculation
But I'd rather be angry than sad

So hit me like I'd guess you hate me
Bash my skull in 'til you make me

A bleeding sore ruining your carpet floor
You can scrub all you want, but that stain won't come out, I'm sure
It's so traumatic
Everybody in your building is an addict to the sin
And they tell us love wins
The gall
The wit
The guts I had to believe it

So drown me in the aquifer my love
Looks like those Florida summers weren't enough
To show you that I needed you this much
I am formless ash without your touch

Even if DeSantis won
I still wouldn't buy a gun
I don't trust myself not to do the things
Kurt Cobain had done
But maybe on a special night
Sometime early in July
Oh, my head could be your fireworks
I could make that hammer fly

Do forest fires leave the prettiest trees up
No, the fires only burn
And they don't really give a fuck
What a scam
What a shitty two-bit sham
Love wins? Some fucking winner I am
The gall
The wit
The guts I had to believe in it
Love loses in the end
And I learned that from you

You may not really hate me
But what else can I do
Already blew out my voice
Just begging for you
My only defense
These strings in my throat
I would tear them apart
Just to let you know
That when you can hear this
I get I was wrong
In misguidedly coping by singing this song
But it's all I can muster
It's all I can do
'Til the day that I die
I will be begging for you
So tell me it's useless
Tell me you're done
I'm not gonna force it or say that I've won
Marceline, I adore you
From the Spring to the frost
You don't have to come back
I already lost