The Message

Black on Black

God is calling me,
My phone disconnected for so long,
Been tryna Bob and weave,
Know I'm not the one you want to lead,
I'm flawed as I can be,
Karma got a grip on me,
I'm stuck,
I swear it's tough to see, what you see in me,
But I know you got a plan,
Who am I question?
Who am I to block my blessings
Cuz I'm being protective
Of my worthiness
Finally found a purpose,
So, I'm wrong if I'm ignoring this,
Gift from God,
Was worried this world, would stare into my scars,
Almost like I forgot, I'm here to reach for stars
Was never meant for earth,
So every time I let 'em bring me down,
I only hurt,
Myself in the process,
Blocking my rebirth,
That's surface level shit,
I was worried about,
Now I'm digging deep to find a better route,
And that's with all the tears and emotions,
That I kept suppressed,
But being a real man starts with getting that **** up off your chest man,

For years, I let the decisions of my past dictate my worth,
And for years, I subconsciously forged new relationships,
And exalted my accomplishments instead of taking some idle time
to look within for healing,
I wanted to find him again, so I took some days of alone time back in nature,
I came back weak and limping
When I arrived, he was there... waiting
And he told me

"You were never told to be a saint,
It doesn't equate to being great,
And doing my work for heavens sake,
All I ask is that you take,
Some time to sit back and relate to others,
At times, they just need a brother,
To show some love, and just uncover,
Some ways to cope with life,
It's tough
But it's nothing that they can't endure,
I gave 'em the armor and power to keep moving forward,
I gave you the voice to tell 'em,
But you kept ignoring,
Lusting for life,
It's human though,
Part of maturing
I see you searching for answers now,
I'm glad you're back,
I stayed right by your side,
Through sins and all of that,
When you wrestled with believing,
Had to give some space,
That's why you couldn't feel me,
But love never erased
That's what you call compassion,
It's unconditional,
Understanding if it's meant to be,
No matter where you go,
You'll always find a way back right beside me,
Even closer than before,
I'm always open,
Just come knock right on my door, I'm here"

Your message was clear, we just decided to turn a deaf ear
You gave the opportunity for space, we tried ... but it was hard to take,
I had feelings she had long moved on,
But with all of the time and effort I invested into bettering myself and trying to make us work, it just became hard for me to leave,
The idea kept me coming back; she kept entertaining the same idea
Our world eventually came crashing down
In the process I longer recognized myself, and
I forgot the initial point at hand...
She still has a whole life ahead of head of her
Damn.

"I pulled you out that situation,
Cuz your will got weak,
Started losing sleep,
And lost yourself, tryna appease
Too focused on something, that you could've just let be
Paranoid by things behind the scenes
That your intuition felt, but you refused to believe,
I know it's embarrassing,
I know that your ego took a hit,
But it was medicine,
Yea, I know it hurt you,
But it taught you how to care again,
With no reservations,
Never mistake it,
When your love encounters you,
Make sure that it's infinite,
Keep your pride outside,
and step inside to get your mental clear,
Lean into your fears,
Instead of running,
Only way to heal
Cause I know you always seeking out distractions,
Tryna cloud your mind from hurt,
I know your past cut you in fractions,
But a fractured heart won't mend itself,
Gotta take action, voice exactly how you feel
Tough discussions need to happen,
Feel discomfort?
Gotta practice patience,
No eruptions
Nothing comes from rushing
But corruption
be content with waiting,
But as for now,
The people need you,
Tap into your faith and,
That compassion you've reclaimed,
Be the light they're craving
Remember that your fam needs you
Gotta keep 'em first,
I'm always here to listen
When you're tryna stay the course,
Your steps are guided,
Walk in confidence,
And guard your heart
I flow from there,
So stay aware and watch ..."

Becoming