Everything

I was thinking I should talk about us
I know we've got a past, there's nobody like us
No scratch that, first name Crazy my last name Ex
Lately I've been moving a lot
I heard you've been asking my last known address
I know we lost touch, I've been working a lot
I figured if time's really money
Then am hoping that the universe pays interest
For every little second I invest
& I really want to stop but I can't quit
Feeling like killing everybody that I hang with
Let's talk about music and everything it's taken from me
My thoughts get loud, don't touch me am autistic
I got another person who stays in my head
& he is drawn to the violence
I want the peace, I want the silence, you should be quiet
It's never been easy to be me, that's the excuses I'd give me
When I want to visit, then you say you're busy
A young Mr. Gatsby
I did it for Daisy but I cannot run from my destiny
I'm insecurity driven & that must be something you don't want to know
But let's talk about that
I've got a jealousy trait, I fell in love with you quickly
I feel like you don't know the real me
So I had to leave you before you can leave me
They should have told me that irony might be irrelevant
Can you show me your scar, Shout out to Simba
I wanted the pride but it came with the prejudice
& that's how I met my Elizabeth

I Finally breathe, I want to be free
I had a dream, I wanted to win
You told me to give, Everything
If I decided to leave, would you cry over me
Baby I'm fade up, fade up fade up
Straight up
I wish I was better better, better, better
Baby I'm fade up, fade up, fade up
Straight up
I wish I was better, better, better, better

I'm never close with my dad but we never talk about that
I'm never close with my brothers
I feel like they counting on me when it matters
I wish I can say I'm in touch with my manners
But mostly I'm keeping the bad ones
Half of my relatives never approve of my lifestyle
They've set the standards
But I never needed approval, they never understand that
Am guessing you knew that
It exactly explains why I called you that night
When I felt suicidal
I told you some stuff & you took advantage of that
My need to confess might have been what you needed
I need to forget that I wanted the memory back
Ask how am doing am managing
I'm on display like a manikin
Did you think I'd be able to handle pain
Is you really like that, I'm just wondering
I'm getting high off some benylin
& half of the rush is adrenaline
I tell myself that am over it
Acceptance is strength that you're never going to hurt me again
But the feeling is foreign
Ignorance might have been bliss for a while
But you put me in a box then I started recording
Buried alive, I put myself in a coffin
My generation is on the come up to self-destruction
I wish we was given instructions to life
Cuz I really need it, it hurts to exist and I hate it
A lot of my friends in their 20s have self-medicated
I wanted the world but it came with some damages
Remember that

I Finally breathe, I want to be free
I had a dream, I wanted to win
You told me to give, Everything
If I decided to leave, would you cry over me
Baby I'm fade up, fade up fade up
Straight up
I wish I was better better, better, better
Baby I'm fade up, fade up, fade up
Straight up
I wish I was better, better, better, better