the illusion

Classic, perfect, sharing milkshakes
I understand that that's what we looked like from the
Outside in, it's not so easy
Dreams about you are like intrusive thoughts
And I tell all my friends that I'm doing just fine
And they never fail to believe all the lies
I just need a little more time
I'll be fine

I can delete all the photos and burn all your clothes
But your unwanted touch is singed into my skin
Dry off the tears and wash the bed sheets
But I'll never forget what you did in my sleep

Every time I'm touched, I remember the feeling
Trying to find some meaning
But I can't see the memory
If I even tried, would it come to my mind?
I've buried all of our past deep in the dark
Kept all of the scars under tight locks
So all that I'm left with is a bitter image of you
You, you, you

I can delete all the photos and burn all your clothes
But your unwanted touch is singed into my skin
Dry off the tears and wash the bed sheets
But I'll never forget what you did in my sleep
I'm never enough, but it's always the same
You tell you still love me, disrespecting my name
I could never be your everything
Without giving away every part of me

Oh, don't you know that you ruined my life?
Oh, I'll never be, never be the same

Happy, healthy, terrifying
Nobody sees whats behind slammed doors
And I'm begging you to ask me first
But you think it's always alright 'cause I'm yours
And I've pushed you off so many times I can't count
But you keep on cause you know I'll stick around
Wake in the night to an unforgiving sight
With you in my pants, when will it end?



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