Lost Connections

You was my brother for a time, there's no denying that
Shared our love for the rhythms, sonic acrobats
I wrote the raps, you would smash together symphonies
Make perfect hats, and the bass would flow so vividly
We planned some projects and you threw yourself into the mix
EQ the lows, we got high so we could feel the kicks
You clung onto me like a spider webbing spinnerets
Shared my lighter, let it singe when you placed your bets
For a moment felt like shit when I spent time with you
You was around and your attitude just fucked my mood
Judge my friends when they had different perspectives
Treat the others in my life like electives
I dreaded driving, seeing woods, I didn't wanna talk
Every time we got into it, felt it was my fault
I saw my brodie and the aura was so clear
Eye me down like an idiot with pimples in the mirror
I made decisions that still hurt me when I think about it
But your presence in my life just weighed me down, shit
I'm doing better, making music for myself
Self produced, mix and master, in this lane I'm black belt, uh
Even through, I miss kicking it and making songs
I had to cut my brother off so I could write some wrongs
Achieving peace when the chaos running wild
I'll grab the reins, let me walk another mile

You was my sister for a time, there's no denying that
FaceTime when I was bored, made a solid pact
I told you everything, my feelings and my secrets too
We weren't a thing, but platonic I was there for you
I taught you math, science, life and played some games with you
You gave me faith, "there's a lady out there made for you"
I called you tripping off a tab, I loved our conversations
And you helped me get a job after months of patience
Found some shit about me, ugly as the river waters
Tried to process things, but time only made it harder
Called me saying that our friendship couldn't last forever
I was crying cause till then you was my sunny weather
Freaking out, I tried everything to talk to you
Just one more chance, wrote some letters, hoped it'd get to you
You told me straight to my face that this had to end
Hit me hard, accept the fact I lost my best friend
Time has passed, doing better, learning newer lessons
Count my blessings, taking breaths just to manage stresses
Achieving peace when the chaos running wild
I'll grab the reins, let me walk another mile

You was confusing, I took chemistry to see your face
I couldn't understand the way you graded kiddos plates
My humor never seemed to land when I talked to you
And your insults pierced my soul, that time I wanted you
It was explained to me why we could never be a thing
Because of culture and your parents make the wedding ring
We got tacos and I learned about your way of living
It made me think about my freedoms and my younger sibling
Fast forward through some time, I had a spark again
And you told me to watch out for the tempt of sin
I didn't listen and I made some bad decisions then
I kept trying to connect through some messaging
You got a man now, I'm honestly so glad for you
You found a guy who can make you laugh and dance with you
I heard from birdie that you shun any sense of me
I say it's fine, but deep down it really bothers me
Saying honestly, I know the ways I hurt you
There's some portions that are fuzzy, but they hurt too
And I want to say sincerely from the lucid heart
That I'm sorry for the ways I tore you apart
Don't expect you to respond with some kind words
I just wanted you to hear it from the source first
Achieving peace when the chaos running wild
I'll grab the reins, let me walk another mile