Annette

Annette Funnicello taught me 'bout boobs
I was just a little fella, and back then boobs were news
I remember seeing Annette on a black and white TV
A mousekateer from the Mickey Mouse Club entering puberty

That was a lot of years ago I was only nine or ten
But pretty soon my own hormones decided to kick in
Boobs loomed large in those years, but I guess that's no surprise
Testosterone had direct control over both my eyes

Curiosity's normal
But it's kinda hard to hide
And if you're caught there is no way
It can ever be denied
So I pretend that I don't notice
I don't pay 'em any mind
I simply wear dark glasses
And act as if I'm blind

As an adolescent boy I'm sure I had no choice at all
I remember Farah Fawcet in a swimsuit on my wall
She added a couple details that brightened up the joint
Everything was new to me but i still got the point

But even while my hormones were distorting what was true
I learned that there were rules about what I could say or do
It seemed that staring at a woman's breasts always annoys
And I should never talk about boobs except with other boys

I know they're just a body part
But let me say in my defence
I recognise this obsession
Don't make any kind of sense
But when I go to the beach or watch a movie
Or see anything on the tube
I get to see that it's not just me
The whole wide world loves boobs

These days I'm much older my reactions more sedate
I've seen so many breasts over so many years
Their power is not so great
Still if I met young Annette simply out here on a stroll
My eyes might take a short detour - it's not in my control

Trust me, it's not intentional, it's out of my control