By The Grace Of...

I know I'm not the only one
Who regrets some of the things they've done
I could swear it's only me can't stand reflections that I see
I wish I could just live a little more, look at the sky, and no, not just the floor
Feel like my life is flashing by, all I could do is cry
I miss my girls, I miss my friends, they chose the other side
I miss my mother, man, she used to be my P in crime
I keep on thuggin', but this really hurtin' deep inside
I miss when
Life was a party that had to be thrown
But that was
Back on some years a milli' ago
When I would
Wonder the streets where I found my feet
They can't even, look in my eyes, they type scared of me
I tried to, bring up some things, like jokes or a dream
But they don't recognize me, got fogged memory
And at the end of the day, I remain the same
And I cain't, switch up my steez, to rock with a lame
You not in my lane, you rottin' and decaying
You snottin up cane, use not enough brain
You not in my space, get popped in your face
Ain't coppin a case, y'all copin the same
He callin' you "twin" but sexin' your bae
And flex in yo face
It's hurtin' me more, to bottle the pain
And even though I waited for more, got less, and more pain
I'm gone, I gotta pack hit to deuce, for I go insane
But then again, my pen is the deuce, that bar was insane
You know I'm just sayin'

I said a prayer this morning
I prayed I will find a way
To another day
I was so afraid
Till you came and saved, you can and saved me
And the rain was pouring, cause the sun faded away
Now, I'm in a better place no longer afraid
Blinded by your grace, you came and saved me

First of all, let me give thanks to my mama
Independent, but the type to never deal with the trauma
Wasted time instead of healing, now she can't escape drama
Probably why she always heated, word to flame and the sauna
We was solid, but you let another come in between
Shut me out and birthed another, now we barely speak
Raised up your daughter, while I was a kid
I can't even kid, amazing provider, but L for an M
You get what I'm saying?
Damn, I can't even call my pops up
Bet you when I pop out, that's when he'll decide to pop up
Flippin' through pictures, I'm stuck just reminiscing
I got the vivid vision, singin', dancin' in the kitchen
Got both of my parents, somehow I still got the blues
Got both of them here, but still I cannot get through
I'm done with the trying, cause I'm tired, no SZA snooze
It's you who gon' lose, peepin' game, I got the views
Who is you?

I said a prayer this morning
I prayed I will find a way
To another day
I was so afraid
Till you came and saved, you can and saved me
And the rain was pouring, cause the sun faded away
Now, I'm in a better place no longer afraid
Blinded by your grace, you came and saved me