Hopscotch
Did you do it on purpose?
Always running in circles in your circus
You know it hurts me
How I never learned how to unlearn you in the first place
Emotional vampire and you're thirsty
Always had to remind you I'm a person too
I still remember your birthday
And that hurts like hell, it's true
Do you remember these things like I remember my fall for you?
Break up, make up, waste our days in fake love
Place our faith in things we should've gave up (down, up)
Down eight shots before the day's up, ain't enough
Call for help, dial tone, wait it out, hang up
Barely asleep, I just run on low battery
And having bad dreams where it seems I've the means to be
Intrusive, a nuisance, abusive, and useless
But lucid if I have a noose to loosen
I just can't wake up
Not to Debbie Down 'em, but this has to stop
Think she loves her vodka and she loves me not
Like the floor is lava, she just wants to hop
Just a teensy problem, take it from the top
When every weekend you're off the deep end
I cannot pretend it's dream come true
'Cause when I sleep and find you in pieces
I start to reason you'll find me too
I wake up screamin', my inner demon
Is back in season all thanks to you
A passionate mix with notes of bittersweet trauma
Served on the rocks and enjoyed bottoms up
Well, I can't tell apart the numbers on the court
The colors swirl together, lines that bleed like weeks old chalk
This dumbass talked the talk; jury's out about the walk
And in every step a gamble hopping cross Pandora's box
Engraved into the pavement, a leap of faith I made in
A love I shouldn't have fallen in, I think I should've waited
I think I'm trauma bonded, I think I-I-I-
I don't wanna play these games, okay? I'm jaded
Still sweeping up the mess that you created
And everyday I wake up from a nightmare, God I hate it
It's purely psychologic all bark, no bite
Yet everything I do is all wrong, no right
And we still gotta argue all day, all night
On edge anticipating, with bated breath I'm waiting
Not to Debbie Down 'em, but this has to stop
Think she loves her vodka and she loves me not
Like the floor is lava, she just wants to hop
Just a teensy problem, take it from the top
When every weekend you're off the deep end
I cannot pretend it's dream come true
'Cause when I sleep and find you in pieces
I start to reason you'll find me too
I wake up screamin', my inner demon
Is back in season all thanks to you
A passionate mix with notes of bittersweet trauma
Served on the rocks and enjoyed bottoms up
With my mind divided by every day since
I'm out of patience, it doesn't make sense
When half of me is still a child with needs
And the other half has lived centuries
I need that tension eased, yet I remember these
Instead I set the scene and skip ahead and freeze
Repeated over and over again
Repeated over and over again
Repeated over and over again
And again, and again
Days, weeks, months, years
Waking up face-to-face with fears deep in my chest
Wouldn't you think it best
If I finally put 'em to rest?
I can't keep lying awake with my intrusive thoughts all over again
Counting the ways I wasn't good enough back then
Counting the steps with a new fear of falling
That I never had, no
I feel a weight on my chest as I'm paralyzed
And the colors flash just behind my eyes
And I'm mesmerized but I don't know why
I can hear you right by my side
My body fades and in a wave of panic
I tell myself that it's just a game of hopscotch
I start to fall like I fall in love
Like I fall asleep and I dream of
December 31st, 2013
You're behind a screen and you're telling me
That you've had a bottle of scotch and you crumbled
Who would've thought it'd be then I can't stumble
You tell me this, that you can't stop the blood
That you wish you never let go of us
That you kissed a boy, you hate how it felt
You're about to kill yourself, you need help
Well, even I can't deny it's really over this time
When from across the pond you threatened suicide
If there's a God alive, He knows I fucking tried
When you asked me to forget that time
I stayed up with you 'cause I cared
And I talked you down the roof 'cause I cared
And I paced around my room, thinking if you made the jump
I couldn't be blamed enough and that is no way to love
When every weekend you're off the deep end
I cannot pretend it's dream come true
I don't sleep enough, you don't drink enough
Body falling up, hypnagogia
I wake up screamin', my inner demon
Is back in season all thanks to you
Barely old enough, in dysphoria
I could fall in love, hypnagogia
When every weekend you're off the deep end
I cannot pretend it's dream come true
I don't sleep enough, you don't drink enough
Body falling up, hypnagogia
I wake up screamin', give me a reason
I'm scared to sleep in the wake of you
Barely old enough, never growing up
I could fall in love, hypnagogia
I don't sleep enough, you don't drink enough
Body falling up, hypnagogia
Barely old enough, in dysphoria
I could fall in love, hypnago-
Always running in circles in your circus
You know it hurts me
How I never learned how to unlearn you in the first place
Emotional vampire and you're thirsty
Always had to remind you I'm a person too
I still remember your birthday
And that hurts like hell, it's true
Do you remember these things like I remember my fall for you?
Break up, make up, waste our days in fake love
Place our faith in things we should've gave up (down, up)
Down eight shots before the day's up, ain't enough
Call for help, dial tone, wait it out, hang up
Barely asleep, I just run on low battery
And having bad dreams where it seems I've the means to be
Intrusive, a nuisance, abusive, and useless
But lucid if I have a noose to loosen
I just can't wake up
Not to Debbie Down 'em, but this has to stop
Think she loves her vodka and she loves me not
Like the floor is lava, she just wants to hop
Just a teensy problem, take it from the top
When every weekend you're off the deep end
I cannot pretend it's dream come true
'Cause when I sleep and find you in pieces
I start to reason you'll find me too
I wake up screamin', my inner demon
Is back in season all thanks to you
A passionate mix with notes of bittersweet trauma
Served on the rocks and enjoyed bottoms up
Well, I can't tell apart the numbers on the court
The colors swirl together, lines that bleed like weeks old chalk
This dumbass talked the talk; jury's out about the walk
And in every step a gamble hopping cross Pandora's box
Engraved into the pavement, a leap of faith I made in
A love I shouldn't have fallen in, I think I should've waited
I think I'm trauma bonded, I think I-I-I-
I don't wanna play these games, okay? I'm jaded
Still sweeping up the mess that you created
And everyday I wake up from a nightmare, God I hate it
It's purely psychologic all bark, no bite
Yet everything I do is all wrong, no right
And we still gotta argue all day, all night
On edge anticipating, with bated breath I'm waiting
Not to Debbie Down 'em, but this has to stop
Think she loves her vodka and she loves me not
Like the floor is lava, she just wants to hop
Just a teensy problem, take it from the top
When every weekend you're off the deep end
I cannot pretend it's dream come true
'Cause when I sleep and find you in pieces
I start to reason you'll find me too
I wake up screamin', my inner demon
Is back in season all thanks to you
A passionate mix with notes of bittersweet trauma
Served on the rocks and enjoyed bottoms up
With my mind divided by every day since
I'm out of patience, it doesn't make sense
When half of me is still a child with needs
And the other half has lived centuries
I need that tension eased, yet I remember these
Instead I set the scene and skip ahead and freeze
Repeated over and over again
Repeated over and over again
Repeated over and over again
And again, and again
Days, weeks, months, years
Waking up face-to-face with fears deep in my chest
Wouldn't you think it best
If I finally put 'em to rest?
I can't keep lying awake with my intrusive thoughts all over again
Counting the ways I wasn't good enough back then
Counting the steps with a new fear of falling
That I never had, no
I feel a weight on my chest as I'm paralyzed
And the colors flash just behind my eyes
And I'm mesmerized but I don't know why
I can hear you right by my side
My body fades and in a wave of panic
I tell myself that it's just a game of hopscotch
I start to fall like I fall in love
Like I fall asleep and I dream of
December 31st, 2013
You're behind a screen and you're telling me
That you've had a bottle of scotch and you crumbled
Who would've thought it'd be then I can't stumble
You tell me this, that you can't stop the blood
That you wish you never let go of us
That you kissed a boy, you hate how it felt
You're about to kill yourself, you need help
Well, even I can't deny it's really over this time
When from across the pond you threatened suicide
If there's a God alive, He knows I fucking tried
When you asked me to forget that time
I stayed up with you 'cause I cared
And I talked you down the roof 'cause I cared
And I paced around my room, thinking if you made the jump
I couldn't be blamed enough and that is no way to love
When every weekend you're off the deep end
I cannot pretend it's dream come true
I don't sleep enough, you don't drink enough
Body falling up, hypnagogia
I wake up screamin', my inner demon
Is back in season all thanks to you
Barely old enough, in dysphoria
I could fall in love, hypnagogia
When every weekend you're off the deep end
I cannot pretend it's dream come true
I don't sleep enough, you don't drink enough
Body falling up, hypnagogia
I wake up screamin', give me a reason
I'm scared to sleep in the wake of you
Barely old enough, never growing up
I could fall in love, hypnagogia
I don't sleep enough, you don't drink enough
Body falling up, hypnagogia
Barely old enough, in dysphoria
I could fall in love, hypnago-
Credits
Writer(s): Maxwell Alexander Murphy
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
Link
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