Dysmorphic

I might get a little anxious
My mind won't quit
And I might act hypomanic
But I like it
And I won't like if my clothes don't fit
It's dysmorphic
Heart racing in a state of panic
Fingers down my throat
Self-inflicting pain
Can't look at myself
Feeling so ashamed
Losing self-control
Playing mind games
Blaming only me for treating me this harmful way
It took hating me to finally fucking leave
The thing that was my worst enemy

Where are you now
I know I shut you out
I'm crying for help
I know I'm ready for you
I'm tired out
My eyes are all dried out
From crying so loud
Tears in puddles on the ground
Puddles on the ground

I might feel a bit much at times
Got no filter on my feelings that's why
Why can't we all just open up
Be vulnerable so we can find ourselves
Be vulnerable so we can find ourselves

Where are you now
I know I shut you out
I'm crying for help
I know I'm ready for you
I'm tired out
My eyes are all dried out
From crying so loud
Tears in puddles on the ground
Puddles on the ground

And I will try to hide
Keep you on the outside
Staying in my head
Up late inside my bed
And I know I will cry
When I can no longer handle it
Crawling deeper down inside
My chest does not feel right no no no
Something's not right but I run faster
Chasing the high perfectionist disaster
Scared that I'll find my lonely troubled mind left behind
And I I know I will cry
When I can no longer handle it

And I will
I will hide



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