My Hair Goes...

My hair goes up, my hair goes down
My hair goes up, my hair goes down
My hair goes up, my hair goes down
(Down/up, down/up, down/up, down/up)

My hair flows like a waterfall, over a cliff that is my face
My hair goes heavenbound, dirty blonde rockets into space
Hmm, my hair conceals my elf ears
They are a little bit embarrassing
Well, with hair this high, I'm 6"9
Making me a giant, technically speaking
Well I can shake my hair and generate enough breeze
To locomote a toy sailboat
I would need no broom, to sweep this room
If someone spilled honey bunches of oats

'Coz my hair goes up, my hair goes down
My hair goes up, my hair goes down
My hair goes up, my hair goes down
(Down/up, down/up, down/up, down/up)

My hair pwns gravity, it makes Sir Isaac Newton question himself
My hair looks rustic, like I've draped my head with a beaver pelt
Hmm, a momma bird laid some eggs up there
I didn't mind that much
She raised in my quaff 'til them birdies flew off
And we still keep in touch
I bet you didn't see my switchblade, or my iPad or my chia tea
And with a little mor growth, you won't even know
I got a full-sized baby

A full-sized baby?
Yeah, I'm gonna name him Ricky
After your dad
Nope! I just always wanted to name a kid Ricky
I would call him Richard but I'm probably being picky
And why, are you hiding a kid anyway?
Well, it's actually justa robotic baby
What are we talking about?

Your hair goes up, your hair goes down
Your hair goes up, your hair goes-

We interrupt the of this song to bring you an important message:
There are many weighty decisions you must make in life
Like, who are you gonna marry?
Whatcha gonna do for a living?
Boxes or briefs? Or commando
And listen, you're gonna make mistakes
You might invest your life savings in dehydrated water
You might forget whether prohibited means you can do it or you can't do it
You might ask a non-pregnant woman if she's pregnant
That's okay, you'll recover
But you make sure you get this one
Most important course-of-your-life-altering choice right

Does your hair go up?
Or does it go down?
(Down/up, down/up, down/up, down/up)