Reviewing the Situation

A man's got a heart, hasn't he
Joking apart, hasn't he
And though I'd be the first one to say that I wasn't a saint
I'm finding it hard to be really as black as they paint

I'm reviewing the situation
Can a fellow be a villain all his life
All the trials and tribulation
Better settle down and make myself a wife

And a wife would cook and sew for him
And come for him, and go for him
And go for him and nag at him
The fingers I will wag at him
The money will take from him
A misery, I'll make from him
I think I'd better think it out again!

A wife you can keep, anyway
I'd rather sleep, anyway
Left without anyone in the world
And I'm starting from now
So how to win friends and to influence people
So how?

I'm reviewing the situation
I must quickly look up everyone I know
Titled people, with a station
Who can help me make a real impressive show

I will own a suite at Claridges
And run a fleet of carriages
And wave at all the duchesses
With friendliness, as much as is
Befitting of my new estate
"Good morrow to you, magistrate"
I think I'd better think it out again

I'm reviewing the situation
I'm a bad one and a bad one I shall stay
You'll be seeing no transformation
But it's wrong to be a rogue in every way

And I don't want nobody hurt for me
Or made to do the dirt for me
This rotten life is not for me
It's getting far too hot for me
There is no inbetween for me
But who will change the scene for me
I think I'd better think it out again