The Instrument, Your Friend

They hid your orders in the envelope
You tried to kiss yourself and then elope
And you mislaid it at the oyster bar
Recovered by the busboy with the dueling scar

You woke the hall of fame at three a.m
To show your score so they would let you in
You threw away your gifts and kept the packages
Overlooked the odds and took the averages

Now you're ready, your brand name's round the bend
So you tell me, it's getting near the end
Can you hear me-the instrument, your friend

We tried to stop you but it was too late
The company will leave you to your fate
To stay alone inside your little room
Dreaming of the greatness that will be yours soon

Following a dolphin
Columbus sailed until he reached
The far side of the falls
And then he drove a stake into the fragrant beach
Made himself the admiral of all the seas

So you're ready, your brand name's round the bend
Are you worthy? It's getting near the end
Can you hear me-the instrument, your friend

Now you're ready, your brand name's round the bend
Go on without me
Sincerely
The instrument, your friend