When You Wish Upon a F*g

Caution can be harmful to your heart and to your health
You can never be quite sure, so find out for yourself
One more silly millimeter more to Forest Lawn
Well, it doesn't taste just like it should
And your cough will soon be gone

But when your bass player's flat and your drummer drags
I bet you wish you had a fag
Take poor country out of town
But don't tattoo your throat
Coffin nails have pounded you
Might just have missed the boat
Save the coupons, walk the mile
Your lungs are getting tanned
Well, nothing else that you can use is legal on the stand

But when your bass player flat and your drummer's drags
I bet you wish you had a fag
Caution can be harmful to your heart and to your health
You can never be quite sure, so find out for yourself

'Cause when your bass player flat and your drummer drags
I bet you wish you had a fag

I wish you had a fag
Whoa, a long, skinny one to smoke alone
Whoa, whoa, whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh
Take it easy
Take it easy
You better take it easy
Take it easy
Take it easy
You better take it easy