Look Out, There's a Monster Coming (2007 Remaster)

Three, four

Lonely, unmarried, looking for love
Life was passing me by
So I sent off my photo, hobbies and age
Magazine marriage I tried
They say for centuries, lovely Japanese girls
Have been trained in the art of pleasing men
Be lonely no more, open destiny's door
For one dollar, they arrange a meeting

My image was wrong, I didn't like me
So I changed my personality
I bought a deluxe Merseybeat wig
But it was a size too big
What confidence in my new built-up shoes
So smart for winter or summer
Undetectable in normal everyday use
Look out, there's a monster coming

Bye-bye binoculars and Macintosh, everything is just great
I take elocution, learn to speak posh, but still I can't find a mate
Be popular, learn to play the guitar
In seven days, you could be strumming
Be sociable, learn kissing technique
Look out, there's a monster coming

With my Carnaby clothes, I reshaped my nose, plastic surgery's best
To cut down my weight off comes my left leg
I pass a swimming costume test
Are my sideboards too long, don't my aftershave pong?
I know my new nose ain't runnin'
What's wrong with my tie? Am I getting too high?
Look out, there's a monster coming

Disfiguring and ugly, my facial hair, I had removed electrically
I rejuvenated my energy cells and regained my virility (grunt, grunt)
He put my hand on my heart, I am changing the part
He had a machine for a mummy
Please be gentle with me, I come to pieces literally
Look out, there's a monster coming

Look out, there's a monster coming
Look out, there's a monster coming
Look out, there's a monster coming
Look out, there's a monster coming
Look out, there's a monster coming
Look out, there's a monster coming
Look out, there's a monster coming