Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! That Cigaret

Now I'm a fellow with a heart of gold
With the ways of a gentleman I've been told
A kind of a fellow that wouldn't even harm a flea

But if me and a certain character met
That guy that invented the cigarette
I'd murder that son of a gun in the first degree

Of course, ain't 'cos I don't smoke myself
And I don't reckon they'll injure your health
I've smoked 'em all my life and I ain't dead yet
But nicotine slaves are all the same
At a pheasant party or a poker game
Everything's gotta stop while they smoke that cigarette

Smoke smoke smoke that cigarette
Puff puff puff
And if you smoke yourself to death
Tell St Peter at the Golden Gate
That you hate to make him wait
you gotta have another cigarette

In a game of chance the other night
Ol' Dame Fortune was doin' me right
The kings and queens just kept on comin' round
Well I got a full and I bet it high
But my plug didn't work on a certain guy
He just kept on risin' and a layin' the money down
He'd raise me, I'd raise him
I sweated blood you gotta sink or swim
He finally called and raised the bet
I said "aces is full pal, how about you?"
He said "I'll tell you in a minute or two
Right now I just gotta have myself a cigarette"

Smoke smoke smoke that cigarette
Puff puff puff
And if you smoke yourself to death
Tell St Peter at the Golden Gate
That you hate to make him wait
You gotta have another cigarette

The other night I had me a date with
The cutest little gal in these fifty states
One of high bred uptown fancy little dame
She said she loved me and it seemed to me
That things were like they ought a be
So hand in hand we strolled down Lover's Lane
She was oh so far from a chunk of ice
And our smoochin' party was a goin' real nice
So help me and I think I'd of been there yet
But I give her kiss a little squeeze
And she said "Willie excuse me please
But I just gotta have a filter cigarette"

Smoke smoke smoke that cigarette
Puff puff puff
And if you smoke yourself to death
Tell St Peter at the Golden Gate
That you hate to make him wait
You gotta have another cigarette