Mad Dogs and Englishmen

Thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen
For giving me such a warm and generous welcome
I would also like to say thank you to Carton Haze's wonderful orchestral
And like every other artist to appears here
I am deeply indebted to Golden Haze up in the lightnboot
And all the men backstage

This place is so efficiently run that really, it's a pleasure to appear here
And lastly and by no means least
I should like to say thank you to my brilliant young pianist, Peter Matts
Now I shall like to sing you a song that I wrote very long ago and faraway
It's called Mad Dogs and Englishmen

In tropical climes, there are certain times of day
When all the citizens retire to tear their clothes off and perspire
It's one of those rules that the greatest fools obey
Because the sun is much too sultry and one must avoid its ultry-violet ray

Pap it like a-, pap it like a-, pap it like a bull, that's native
Dig it, dig it, dig it, dig it, dig it, dig it do
The native grieve when the white men leave their huts
Because they're obviously definitely nuts!

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun
The Japanese don't care to
The Chinese wouldn't dare to
Hindoos and Argentines sleep firmly from 12 to one
But Englishmen detest a siesta

In the Philippines, there are lovely screens to protect you from the glare
In the Malay States, there are hats like plates which the Britishers won't wear
At 12 noon, the natives swoon and no further work is done
But mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun

Oh, it's such a surprise for the Eastern eyes to see
That though the English are effete, they're quite impervious to heat
When the white man rides, every native hides in glee
Because the simple creatures hope he will impale his solar topee on a tree

Hop in the-, hop in the-, hop in the-, hop in the hut
This ain't native, pay no attention
Dig it, dig it, dig it, dig it, dig it out
It seems such a shame when the English claim the earth
That they give rise to such hilarity and mirth
Hahahahaha, oh, dear

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun
The smallest Malay rabbit deplores this foolish habit in Hong Kong
They strike a gong and fire off a noonday gun
To reprimand each inmate who's in late

In a jungle town where the sun beats down to the rage of man and beast
The English garb of the English sahib merely gets a bit more creased
In Bangkok at twelve o'clock, they foam at the mouth and run
But mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun
The toughest Burmese bandit can never understand it
In Rangoon, the heat of noon is just what the natives shun
They put their Scotch or Rye down, lie down

In the mangrove swamps where the python romps
There is peace from 12 'til two
Even caribous lie around and snooze
For there's nothing else to do

In Bengal to move at all
Is seldom, if ever done
But mad dogs and Englishmen
Go out in the midday
Out in the midday
Out in the midday
Out in the midday
Out in the midday
Out in the midday
Out in the midday sun

Thank you