Awful Feelings

The thorn in my side slowly leaks,
but the blood's aberrant color defeats me.
It's like a dull maple leaf after winter has taken it's toll.
Maybe it's visual misconception
or lack of chemical connection.
Though, I believe it lost it's life before ever leaving the wound.

Don't get close to me.
I'll be the one that's always letting you down.
I'm a sieve in the rain, collecting it all for nothing.
I'll be the blood that flows inside of your veins.
I'll exsanguinate your body, leaving you with nothing.

So, hang me up and let me dry (to cease; never again)
or throw me out and let me die. (to cease; never again)
I never thought it'd be this way (I'll go as you...)
and now I'll probably never change. (...watch me fade to...)
Now it seems like I always fuck up everything. (...a darker gray.)

So, get close to me.
I'll be the weight that's always holding you down.
I used to feel remorse, but now it's hard to feel much of anything.
If I could be the marrow in your bones.
I'd let myself pour out and drain, as if you weren't anything.

So, hang me up and let me dry (to cease; never again)
or throw me out and let me die. (to cease; never again)
I never thought it'd be this way (I'll go as you...)
and now I'll probably never change. (...watch me fade to...)
Now it seems like I always fuck up everything. (...a darker gray.)

So, I'll dig a hole;
One that could swallow me whole.
In hopes that I'll grow into something
much taller than I'll ever be.
But, I'll just float
down that river I know,
until I dissolve or erode
like the blood I have lost on the way.

It's what I'm coughing up again,
the blood from all my friends.
It's what I'm coughing up again,
the blood from all my friends.
It's what I'm coughing up again,
the blood from all my friends.
It's what I'm coughing up again,
the blood from all my friends.

When God shows His light,
will I be clean?
Will I be honest?
Will I be alive?
Will I be anything?
Will I be alone?