Gee, Officer Krupke

Hey, you!
Who, me, Officer Krupke?
Yeah, you
Give me one good reason
For not dragging you down to the station house
Ya punk!

Dear
Dear
Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke
You gotta understand
It's just our bringin' up-ke
That gets us out of hand
Our mothers all are junkies
Our fathers all are drunks
Golly Moses, naturally we're punks!

Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset
We never had the love that ev'ry child oughta get
We ain't no delinquents
We're misunderstood
Deep down inside us there is good!

There is good, there is good
There is untapped good!
Like inside, the worst of us is good!

(Oh, look at my good, good baby!)
(That's a nice baby, Action!)

Aw, that's a touching good story
Aw, well let me tell it to the world!
Just tell it to the judge

(Ooh, yeah, a judge, that's a good idea, let's go!)

Dear kindly Judge, your Honor
My parents treat me rough
With all their marijuana
They won't give me a puff
They didn't wanna have me
But somehow I was had
Leapin' lizards! That's why I'm so bad!

Right!

Officer Krupke, you're really a square
This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care!
It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed
He's psychologically disturbed!

I'm disturbed!

We're disturbed, we're disturbed
We're the most disturbed
Like we're psychologically disturbed!

(Oh, geez! Now that one hurt)

Hear ye, hear ye
In the opinion of this court
This child is depraved
On the account that he ain't had a normal home

Hey! I'm depraved on account I'm deprived!

So take him to a head shrinker!

(Oh, no!)
(Alright, buddy boy)

My father is a bastard
My ma's an SOB
My grandpa's always plastered
My grandma pushes tea
My sister wears a mustache
My brother wears a dress
Goodness gracious
That's why I'm a mess!

Yes! Officer Krupke
You're really a slob
This boy don't need a doctor
Just a good, honest job
Society's played him a terrible trick
And sociologically, he's sick!

I am sick!

We are sick, we are sick
We are sick, sick, sick
Like we're sociologically sick!

(Oh yeah, beat that!)

In my opinion, this child doesn't need to have his head shrunk atall
Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease

Hey! I got a social disease!

So take him to a social worker!

Dear kindly social worker
They say go earn a buck
Like be a soda jerker
Which means like be a schmuck!
It's not I'm anti-social
I'm only anti-work
Glori-oski, that's why I'm a jerk!

Officer Krupke, you've done it again
This boy don't need a job he needs a year in the pen
It ain't just a question of misunderstood
Deep down inside him, he's no good

I'm no good!

We're no good, we're no good
We're no earthly good
Like the best of us is no damn good!

The trouble is he's crazy
The trouble is he drinks
The trouble is he's lazy
The trouble is he stinks
The trouble is he's growing
The trouble is he's grown

Krupke, we've got
Troubles of our own!

Gee, Officer Krupke
We're down on our knees
'Cause no one wants a fella with a social disease!

Gee, Officer Krupke
What are we to do?
Gee, Officer Krupke
Krup you!